25 RULES FOR WOMEN

Here's a reader's list for rules that may help women understand (or tolerate) and maybe, on occasion, accomodate those seemingly "Martian" creatures. Though I must admit, as a male that has dual citizenship - both Mars and Venus, yet, without a desire for bisexuality, alas - a number of these rules don't work for me. (For example, see #s 2., 6.,14. and 24.; however, toilets seats and cats get my attention.) As for my dual citizenship, I think it was all those years living in New York City and then New Orleans. (How I ended up in DC? I'm convinced, if New York City and New Orleans had a baby, it would look like Washington, DC. Of course, I can't vouch for its legitimacy.) Anyway...Judy1047, thanks again for your treasure trove of humorous insight. Take it away:

In response to the oddly popular "50 Rules For Men," here are 25 rules for women:

1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down! 2. Don't cut your hair. Ever! 3. Don't make us guess. 4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it. 6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship." 7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat. 8. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period. 9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the

tides. 10. Let it be! Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time. 11. Anything you wear is fine. Really. 12. You have enough clothes. 13. You have too many shoes. 14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. 15. Your brother is an idiot. 16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. 17. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries! 18. Share the bathroom. 19. Share the closet. 20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. 21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 22. Nothing says 'I love you' like a quickie in the morning. 23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 24. Check your oil. 25. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

Having missed the 50 rules, if anyone has them, please send them along. And being a believer in relative equality between the sexes, I'll edit it down to 25 (probably adding some commentary) and send them along.

Just remember...Practice Safe Stress!

Feedback Segment: How about sharing your thoughts on how you, friends or colleagues use humor in dealing with stress, conflict or moods, yours or others, in your personal life, at home or at work? HFTE will run the best stories and, of course, credit you. (And the real lagniappe, you become a member of the Stress Doc's StressBusters Club.) Also, email me to learn more about "The Stress Doc's" upcoming serious and humorous on-line support/chat group -- "The Frequent Sighers Club.

Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader and author on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. He is also the internet's and the nation's leading "Psychohumorist." The Stress Doc is a columnist for the popular cyber-newsletter, Humor From The Edge -- HUMOR FROM THE EDGE HOME PAGE . Mark is also the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource network, Online Psych -- ONLINE PSYCH: THE STRESS DOC and Financial Services Journal Online --  . And he is an offline writer for two mental health/substance abuse publications -- Treatment Today and Paradigm Magazine. His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel: A Smart Mouth for Hire! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com. The  Stress Doc's website was selected as a USA Today Online "Hot Site" and designated a four-star, top- rated site by Mental Health Net.