While juggling a number of writing projects, the Stress Doc discovers how you spell relief: R-E-A-D-E-R-S! And here's a sardonic cyberlist of wit and wisdom to help you adjust an attitude problem. You got a problem with that?! ;-)

33-Step Program

Once again dear readers you've come to my rescue. While feverishly working on a new book proposal and percolating another installment of Miss Sun and Mr. Moon (folks have been demanding a sequel; email if you missed the original - stressdoc@aol.com) I was getting a bit stressed about today's column. But my cyberpal Bogie 361@aol.com forwarded a list from some of his buddies -- Bob Abramson of the Chelsea Piers, and Melissa Brumer of the Riverdale YM-YWHA who did the editing. It's called, 33 Steps Toward Personal Growth and Life Fulfillment.

First, I liked it because it's the kind of declarations I could imagine an adult-like Calvin, of "Calvin and Hobbes," composing. (I'm still grieving the untimely end of "Calvin and Hobbes.") And second, the list shows that while 12-step groups may help you tap into your "higher power"there's more than one way to garner spiritual salvation. As the Stress Doc proclaims: Seek the higher power of humor: May the Farce Be with You!

33 Steps Toward Personal Growth and Life Fulfillment

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.

5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.

8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.

9. Joan of Arc heard voices too.

10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

11. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

12. As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

13. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

14. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

15. As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

16. All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts.

17. I am at one with my duality.

18. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

19. Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.

20. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

21. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

22. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

23. False hope is better than no hope at all.

24. A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

25. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear in the Hollywood Cafe. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

26. Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a minute.... I'll find someone.

27. Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?

28. The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

29. I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

30. Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.

31. To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

32. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

33. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

And, of course...Practice Safe Stress!

Special Announcements:

a) email stressdoc@aol.com if you'd like to subscribe to my new, free newsletter -- Notes From an Online Psychohumorist (TM) b) Leading a "Shrink Rap and Group Chat" for Digital City-Washington, the 2nd and 4th Mondays of every month, 9-10pm EDT. Field questions on stress, relationship issues, school/job problems, career transition, etc. Definitely a lively hour. Here's the link: <A HREF="aol://4344:363.gorkin.5732839.568857121">Chat with the Stress Doc</A> c) Starting a Multi-Media Coaching for Consultants Program, especially (though not exclusively) for allied/mental health professionals, organizational trainers and consultants, counselors and educators. For info on the products and instructional services, including: ** one-on-one online consultation and group chat ** copywriting and humor writing; website design ** bulletin board access... email me at Stress Doc@aol.com

Feedback Segment: How about sharing your thoughts on how you, friends or colleagues use humor in dealing with stress, conflict or moods, yours or others, in your personal life, at home or at work? HFTE will run the best stories and, of course, credit you.