The Stress Doc Letter
Cybernotes from the Online Psyumorist (tm)
AUG 2011, No. I, Sec. I
Fight when you can
Take flight when you must
Flow like a dream
In the Phoenix we trust!
Table of Contents:
Sec. I
Notes from the Stress Doc ™
Shrink Rap I: Requiem for a "Last Angry Man"
Shrink Rap II: The Evolution of Team Synergy: Transforming Parts into Partners
Testimonials: Neace Lukens Wellness Conference
Readers Submissions: Link to Responses to Requiem for a "Last Angry Man"
Sec. II
Main Essay I: Retreat Exercises and Interventions that Changed Organizational
Cultures
Main Essay II: From Grief to Growth: Positively Influencing Individuals and
Organizations
Phone Coaching-Consultation-Counseling with the Stress Doc ™ and Offerings:
Books, CDs, Training/Marketing Kit: Email stressdoc@aol.com or go to
www.stressdoc.com for more info.
Notes from the Stress Doc™: Well I'm hunkering down waiting for the
storm; a good time as any to send out a newsletter. Actually, I've put together
four articles that I've penned over the past couple of months. I think they
rock. ;-) Enjoy!
Mark
Overview:
1. Shrink Rap I: Requiem for a "Last Angry Man." Here's the essay about
my dad and our conflicted-connected, ever evolving relationship that evoked
extraordinary response from newslist readers.
2. Shrink Rap II: The Evolution of Team Synergy: Transforming Parts
into Partners. The Stress Doc presents a variety of definitions and
perspectives on synergy -- from a meditative visualization inspired by Mother
Nature to a professional collaboration with "The Great Idea's Guy" (sm) and an
inspiring workshop with African-American Nurses.
3. Main Essay I: Retreat Exercises and Interventions that Changed
Organizational Cultures. The Stress Doc learns way after the fact how two
different workshop exercises had a significant and long-term impact on a law
firm and on IT Managers of the Intl. Trade Administration.
4. Main Essay II: From Grief to Growth: Positively Influencing
Individuals and Organizations. The Stress Doc shares the Murray Story: how a
grizzled old salesman became a company statesman by releuctantly moving beyond
his grief- and ego-driven power struggle with the new, abrasive and young CEO.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shrink Rap I:
Click here: Stress Doc: Notes from a Motivational Psychohumorist ™: A Requiem
for a "Last Angry Man": A Son's Eulogy
or
http://www-stressdoc-com.blogspot.com/2011/07/requiem-for-last-angry-man-sons-eulogy.html
A Requiem for a "Last Angry Man"
My father died on Father's Day. I'm not sure his timing was meant to be so
fitting, but I have no doubt that he had finally decided to stop fighting, not
an easy task for a classic "Type A is for Aggressive" man who for much of his
life felt compelled to fight for his survival. I could talk about dad being
raised by a mother who went in and out of clinical and sometimes near-psychotic
depressions; or his short, bull-like immigrant father who won strong man
contests, while also being a gifted carpenter (his artfully crafted inlaid chess
table remains a family treasure); dad's father, too, an often absent parent and
a weekend alcoholic; or being overshadowed by his athletically gifted older
brother who eventually joined the Navy and left dad to care for his increasingly
ill mother after his father left the roost; or a man who volunteered to join the
Army during WW II despite having a "family exemption" because of his mother's
health; or a romantic who chose to elope with my mother because of her family's
objection to this guy from the "wrong side of the tracks"; or of dad's mental
breakdown and hospitalization for "manic depression" (in hindsight, a
questionable label) when I was one-and-a-half years old; not questionable back
then, though, was the start of over fifteen years of electro-shock therapy (ECT)
as my parents were afraid to question the medical establishment's treatment of
choice for depression. (By the way, he finally stopped the shock, during my
parent's short-lived marital separation when a woman with whom he was casually
involved told him, "You're nuts, you don't need shock therapy, get some
psychotherapy!" He did… eventually staying in group therapy for a dozen years,
never needing another electrical jolt to keep him "functioning.")
Or should I talk about his existential crisis at work as the Mafia increasingly
infiltrated the New York City garment center (this was the early '60s version of
"downsizing"; I call it frightsizing!): would he leave his successful,
twenty years sales position, tear up his security fabric, or agree to report to
"el Capo" Tommy D? (I still recall his anguished hours and days wrestling on the
couch, not sure if dad was going to kill himself or someone else for having his
world violently turned upside down. Eventually he jumped from the rat-infested
ship; yet after anxiously taking a job with another controlling big company, dad
realized he had to be on his own. He forged a position as a sales rep for a
small business owner with his own fabric warehouse. Eli was a "goniff" or small
crook in his own right, but at least not of the "organized" variety.
And his world flourished -- making more money than he ever had, reuniting with
my mom, continuing with therapy, taking up tennis as a new mid-life passion (his
crowning moment when he defeated his athletically gifted brother in a match). Of
course, living at home was like living in a family encounter laboratory. As I
once penned:
What made him break from our mistake, perhaps we'll never know.
But in the wake of psychic quake, a formula to grow.
The silence cracks, each spouse attacks, the couple hardly known.
But on these tracks of broken backs, emancipation sown!
Cries of a Lifetime, a Lifeline, and the Unraveling
And for me, the start of my emotional emancipation -- of transcending a
childhood riddled with fears and unrecognized talents and gifts, of being overly
aligned with a brilliant yet anxiously controlling mother while emotionally
distant from/ashamed of my "irrational," sometimes problem-drinking father --
began at age twenty-one: I followed my dad's footsteps into psychotherapy. And
five years after learning about his bouts with depression and shock treatment, I
finally had the courage to ask, "Dad, why did you need the shock?" And then
crawled onto his lap, put my arms around him, holding on for dear safety,
burying my head in his neck for forgiveness, and cried uncontrollably, pure
unadulterated emotion pouring out, as he recounted his fears of being like his
sick mother, his desperation of not knowing whether he could both support a
family and fight his inner demons…And finally my admitting and understanding
that I had so many similar fears and feelings of shame. (Dad later shared that
he had never experienced such an outpouring of emotion and love in his life.)
A decade later, wanting to understand the difficulty in recalling so much of my
childhood, I began asking my parents pointed questions which triggered an
explosion that, after much physical posturing and verbal battling between father
and son, (my mother had left the room), reversed the roles: backed into a
corner, dad finally let go of his defensive yelling and tearfully relived and
acknowledged a young father's shame (surrounding his shock regimen), guilt and
helplessness ("breadwinner" survival fears), thereby dissolving his defensive
rage…and now, allowing me to take him in my arms, he cried uncontrollably. (And
this man never cried, except at poignant theatre or movies.)
I was going to talk about how the vascular strokes in his early 70s began to
change the hard-edged but honest communication he and I had evolved over the
decades, despite my living out of town in New Orleans and DC. He no longer
wanted, nor felt strong enough to handle, that real give and take battle, the
staple of our rebuilding a father-son bond and a unique level of trust. My dad's
recent death evokes multi-layered sadness, not just for the immediate loss but
also for the steady dissolution these past fifteen years of our once uncommonly
open and authentic interaction. Still, I can't resist recalling one
trust-building vignette:
My younger brother, Larry, and I were visiting my folks in Florida. To give the
story some context, as a child, Larry, was the sibling who bonded more with my
father. There definitely were sibling rivalry issues. Larry was also in the
psychology field, receiving his doctorate in Clinical Psychology; by comparison
I burnt out working on my social work thesis and was ABD. Unlike his older
brother, Larry was a researcher; he had studiously avoided psychotherapy. To
continue…during the visit I noticed how if my brother said something critical of
my dad, my dad seemed to ignore it, while if I questioned or challenged him,
there was definite aggressive push back. At some point, the frustration building
within, I finally said to him, "Dad what's going on? Are we reliving the old
days of you and Larry as allies? Larry says something smart you ignore it,
me…you're all over me."
Fortunately, my father was way ahead of me. His succinct reply: "Nah, Larry can
get defensive; you… I know you can take it!" (Perhaps not surprising, as my dad
and I moved away from more intense and genuine relationship communication, or as
he more passive-aggressively criticized my at times financially-challenged "word
artist" life style - partly because of not understanding my motivation, partly
because of his "fear for my security" which, naturally, overlapped with his own
fears - he and my financially successful brother regained their comfort zone.)
But despite selective retrenchment, the person who could really both take it and
fight, truly, was my dad. Four years ago, at eighty-four, he was diagnosed with
lung cancer. As my doctor explained, even though he had stopped smoking forty
years before, the two-packs-a-day damage was done. The amazing thing now was his
ability to handle three and a half years of chemo with an uncomplaining
acceptance yet "determined to keep on fighting" spirit. For a man his age, Dad
totally defied the chemo treatment life expectancy tables. When my father once
tried to tell his oncologist of his admiration, the doctor immediately reversed
the tables: "On the contrary, Mr. Gorkin, it is I who admire you."
So this is the eulogy that I never gave at the placing of the flag alongside his
urn-filled ashes, with "Taps" being played in the background, at the quietly
comforting, tree-, grassy knolls- and lagoon-covered grounds of the military
national cemetery near Boynton Beach, FL. Beside the three soldiers in dress
greens, it was only my mother, brother and me. Despite his success as a
salesman, my father was basically a loner and this simple unadorned ceremony
captured his wishes and much of his Spartan essence.
As was written on his head stone: Abraham Gorkin -- A Courageous Mensch,
Loving Husband & Father.
Amen and women to that!
Shrink Rap
II:
Click here: Stress Doc: Notes from a Motivational Psychohumorist ™: The
Evolution of Team Synergy: Transforming Parts into Par or http://www-stressdoc-com.blogspot.com/2011/07/evolution-of-team-synergy-transforming.html
and
------------------------------
The Evolution of Team Synergy: Transforming Parts into Partners
That the term "synergy" keeps showing up on my mental radar and calendar is not
surprising. But yesterday, I experienced the "mother nature" variation.
Meandering along the banks of the Chagrin River, 20 miles east of Cleveland, I
stepped off the heavily wooded path at the confluence point of two streaming
tributaries. Walking along a pebble and rock-strewn beach-like area, I
discovered a small depression not more than a few yards from the babbling flow.
I also spotted and positioned a slab of rock that conveniently became a back
support as I lowered myself into this natural "easy chair." The surrounding
visual-tactile-audio mindscape was an array of 100-foot trees on both
embankments - one flat the other hilly - seemingly converging and sculpting an
endless green carpet-Cuyahoga Sky Blue vista. In this theatre au natural, my
skin was being toasted tenderly by a radiant sun; and basking in the cloudless,
80 degree, low humidity ambience was made even more delicious by a caressing and
cooling breeze. The background stereo of rushing river and rustling trees,
complemented by periodic chirping (along with sudden yet graceful swooping)
evoked memories of Beethoven's Pastorale (# 6). My late afternoon interlude at
the sensorium was complete.
Not only was a sense of sanity being restored, but this dynamic symphony of
sights, sensations and sounds resulted in that synergistic summation -- "when
things work in concert together to create an outcome that is in some way of more
value than the total of what the individual inputs is" (Dictionary.com). And
for me, the unexpected outcome, the resultant paradoxical synergy state, was
that fleeting fifteen minutes of mind quieting serenity, along with a renewed
sense of awe for the holistic interplay of human-nature "Soular Power!"
From the Sublime to the…
My high school chemistry teacher, 4'10" Shaky Jake Lieberman (more wily
leprechaun than learned professor), after regaling us with stories from his two
favorite avocations - boxing and the opera - would invariably declare, "Okay,
boys, time to move from the sublime to the ridiculous; let's get back to
chemistry." (Those days, Stuyvesant H.S. in NYC only had male students.)
Guess it's time to leave the sublime (for awhile, anyway) and examine synergy
from a more practical, everyday perspective. Synergy comes from the Greek word
synergia, meaning joint work and cooperative action. From a technical vantage
point, it is the increased effectiveness that results when two or more people or
businesses work together and, I would add, the result is most pronounced when
there's a mix of some commonalities along with distinct differences. And as
we'll see, this combination has implications for the productivity of dyads and
teams.
Stress Doc ™ Meeting the "Great Ideas! Guy" (sm)
For example, I recently co-authored an article with Jeff Peden identifying "Top
Ten Obstacles" to improving leadership-business partnership, performance and
profitability. Our partnership was definitely synergistic - a common capacity
for "emotional intelligence" played out in mostly dissimilar (e.g., corporate
vs. government) arenas, thereby yielding varying takes on human-system
motivation and interaction. Experienced in corporate sales and customer
service, Jeff recently wrote and published Take It To The MAX-The Ultimate
Strategy for Maximizing Profits and Growth. He asked me to review the book.
(Jeff was aware of my book, Practice Safe Stress: Healing and Laughing in
the Face of Stress, Burnout and Depression.)
Jeff had many excellent ideas (not surprising, he's the "Great Ideas! Guy" (sm
;-), but also evident was that too many business and organizational leaders,
despite knowing what they should do, frequently don't turn ideas into action.
Fittingly enough, Jeff jumped at my idea for a collaborative piece on key
psychological barriers contributing to this leadership-performance gap.
If I may say so, the result was a yin and yang, two "hearts singing and minds
dancing" essay. For example, our give and take captured the double-edged
quality of "loyalty": Jeff added the participatory-cooperative (1) aspect to my
repressive-controlling (2) precept thereby expanding the Stress Doc's "Law of
the Loyalty Loop":
(1) Those who help plan the battle don't battle the plan and
(2) Those who never want you to answer back always want you to back their
answer!
While I could enumerate other "whole is greater than parts" examples, I'll close
with a straightforward declaration: with the breadth and depth of the ten
obstacles ** along with our relative precision (the essay is approximately 2500
words, thanks, mostly, to Jeff's editorial talents), "Top Ten Mind Barriers to
Maximizing Leadership-Business Performance" reflects the conceptual and
experiential diversity and uncommon synergy of a psychology and business
brainstorm-collaboration. (Email stressdoc@aol.com if you missed the essay.)
** "Top Ten Obstacles" to improving leadership-business performance, partnership
and profitability:
1. Time Pressures
2. Stress Overload
3. Lacking Perspective and Experience
4. Are You Going the Way of the Dinosaur?
5. Underdeveloped Emotional Intelligence
6. Need to Be an Autocrat
7. Judgmental Bias
8. Grappling with Your Intimate FOE
9. Fear of or Clinging to Success
10. Masters of Mendacity
The Evolution and Variation of Team Synergy
Now let's take the next evolutionary step. How do you go from being part of a
dynamic duo to creating or facilitating a high task and high touch synergy
group? To do this let's expand our focus:
1) first by reanalyzing our conception of the idea and ideal of team and then 2)
examining the behavior of whole-interrelated systems unpredicted by the behavior
of their individual parts (Wikipedia). Here are Some Conceptual Tools
for Rethinking Team Synergy:
1. There's No "I" in TEAM. In a general way the popular TEAM acronym
speaks the language of synergy: Together Each Achieves More. The slogan
indicates that the individual benefits from the collective and that harmony is
its own reward. But what about the inverse: does individual talent (not
necessarily in a formal leadership role) impact the capacity of the group to
meet its goals around performance and productivity, morale and camaraderie? How
about these TEAM acronyms:
a) Talent Engages All Members or
b) Talent Energizes Ambitious Motivation
And might individual differences, including difference of perspective or
culture, challenge the team to reach another level of evolutionary function?
The original TEAM saying -- Together Each Achieves More -- in some ways is
similar to another popular, or at least, oft-heard, saying, "There's NO 'I' in
Team." (Of course, some people think the latter is a shorthand code for
suppressing disagreement, difference or dialogue.) My discomfort with both
motivational mantras is their downplaying the role of the individual, especially
the need for individual(s) thinking and behaving outside the conventional group
"form and function" framework. The contrarian and the community must generate
optimal conflict and positively provoke each other's mindsets and skill sets.
As John Dewey, 19th c. pragmatic philosopher and "Father of American Public
Education," observed: Conflict is the gadfly of thought. It stirs us to
observation and memory. It shocks us out of sheep-like passivity. It
instigates to invention and sets us at noting and contriving. Conflict is the
"sine qua non" of reflection and ingenuity.
Such a provocative collaboration is critical especially in rapidly reorganizing
times that demand new ideas, idiosyncratic intuitions, relevant data and
flexibly focused adaptation for the survival of the fittest (government bailouts
not withstanding). As Adam Gopnik noted in, Angels and Ages: A Short Book
about Darwin, Lincoln and Modern Life (Alfred A. Knopf, 2009): Repetition is
the law of nature but variation is the rule of life.
Components of Organizational Variation and Vitality
For teams and organizations in the throes of uncertain times, life-evolving
variation tends to emerge from:
a) the diversity and varying talents/vulnerabilities of community members; a
history of organizational research shows that optimally diverse teams invariably
come up with more creative solutions in experimental trials than more
homogeneous groups,
b) unexpected, error-disrupted, compelling or chaos-inducing developments in the
environment,
c) a heightened motivational state of "constructive discontent" and a "whatever
it takes" exploratory mindset,
d) the resultant clash- or crisis-induced, "necessity as mother of invention"
problem solving,
e) a capacity to coordinate people and resources, and
f) the opportunity for post-chaotic transitional grieving (or debriefing) as
well as designing structures and strategies that incorporate and sustain the
significant variation into everyday operations. In an organizational system,
acknowledging, grappling with and ultimately integrating individual difference
and convention-busting conflict is vital for achieving that ebb and flow of
productive stability and evolutionary synergy.
2. There's No 'I' in Team…. So how did I resolve my differences with
these motivational clichés? The answer alluded to above actually takes on a
semantic twist: "There's NO 'I' in Team…but there Are Two 'I's in Winning!"
From a poetic perspective a number of interpretations of the latter phrase are
possible:
a) keeping your eyes on the prize,
b) reflecting on the past to help envision a new future, or my favorite
c) mixing the literal and the "letteral," one comes up with two "I"s that
definitely "C" -- the "I"s stand for "Individuality" and "Interactivity" and
their related "C"s are "Creativity" and "Community." And voila: the formula
for a winning team is a synergistic blend of "Individual Creativity" and
"Interactive Community."
The creative individual typically challenges the community to reexamine its
conventional values, positions and actions. A community that's not cut off by
"one right way" tradition or rigid "funda-mental-ist armor" challenges,
sometimes tolerates, and may eventually find room to encourage the idiosyncratic
individual to speak the language of, relate to, educate and even stir up, if not
inspire, the larger collective. And when these two "'I's that 'C'" intermingle,
another notion of synergy materializes: behavior of whole systems unpredicted
by the behavior of their parts taken separately. This is called "emergent
behavior" (Wikipedia).
"Individual Creativity" and "Interactive Community" in Action
A thank you note from a recent Stress & Team Building Workshop concerning the
emergence of intimate and productive group engagement illustrates synergy's
surprising dimension. The "honesty" referred to below reflects the intimate
sharing both in small groups and the extra-ordinary public testimonials of
personal trials by fire. Also unanticipated was that the creative facilitator
(white male) and the larger community (primarily black females) spoke and shared
a meaningful degree of a common language and world view, at least within a
"Practice Safe Stress" ™ program context. And finally, another paradoxical, if
not synergistic, phenomenon may have helped bridge the cultural divide: People
are more open to a serious (or surprising) message when it is gift-wrapped with
humor!
Cleveland Council of Black Nurses sponsored by Case Western Reserve/Skills and
Simulation Center [2-hr "Practice Safe Stress and Team Building through Humor"
Program]
April 4, 2011
Dear Mark,
Thank you so much for the wonderful workshop that you presented for the
Cleveland Council of Black Nurses. As President, I truly appreciated your
humorous, but principled approach to "Team Building". You worked miracles &
brought about an honesty that I did not think was possible.
Again, thank you & I would certainly recommend your workshops to all in the
health care fields. The program that you presented was truly "Tailor Made" for
us.
Barbara Rogers, RNMSN
President
216 921-3204
sisbarbltc@aol.com
---------------------
In closing, while the "winning" benefits of "IC2" Team Synergy have been
illustrated, one must not overlook the potential dangers: a) the creative
individual may be pushing the envelope too far and too fast, beyond group
norms-traditions and the bounds of calculated and acceptable risk-taking and b)
the community sees "difference and disagreement as disapproval or
disloyalty"…and isolates or shuns divergent perspective while demanding group
think.
3. Relation and Rejuvenation of "The Whole and the Parts." Perhaps the
most recognized description of synergy is the classic phrase: The whole is
greater than the sum of its parts. And our previous analyses of synergy, each
in its different way, speak to this non-linear summation. So what enables 2 +2
= 5? What enables Mother Nature and human nature to be serenely at one with one
another; what sparks two consultants with varying backgrounds to produce a
fertile article that surely would not have been conceived or written separately;
or what allows a roomful of nurses to discover, bond and candidly reveal an
unprecedented and "miraculous" range of individual and collective voices and
stories? For me, the magic lies in creating an atmosphere of free-flowing
communication -- from conflict to communion -- while orchestrating surprising
intermingling, i.e., fun and thought-provoking group exercises amongst the
reawakened and fertile parts. The energized parts are not afraid to acknowledge
flaws and foibles, nor afraid to test relational norms and be a bit "out-rage-ous."
And yet their interaction facilitates understanding of both individual-cultural
difference and common humanity. And this empathy ("not only have I walked in
your shoes, but I feel your bunions"), often enhanced by shared memory and
self-effacing laughter, becomes the electric current for renewed connection. In
time, the synergistic process and product distill the complexity of life into an
essential yet elegant simplicity. Engaged in a "jazz riff," status barriers are
surmounted; the distinct parts form an insightful and unified collaboration:
Now "Parts" are transformed into "Partners!" And as we've come to appreciate,
"Individual Creativity" and "Interactive Community" is the formula for winning
teams and associations.
Surely an inspiring notion, and words to help one and all…Practice Safe
Stress!
Readers' Submissions:
Click here: Stress Doc: Notes from a Motivational Psychohumorist ™: Reflections
on Readers' Responses to "Requiem for a 'Last Angry Man"
or
http://www-stressdoc-com.blogspot.com/2011/07/reflections-on-readers-responses-to.html
---------------------
Subject: Yiddish-Yinglish Dictionary of Fools
From: mdodick@aol.com
It is said that Eskimos (Inuit) have hundreds of words to describe snow. We Jews
have hundreds of words for "pains in the neck."
by Marnie Winston-Macauley
Among the many majesties of Yiddish, is its magical ability to turn words
into an emotional thesaurus. Both the "good" and the "bad" alike are not merely
"said." No. They're felt – in all their subtle nuance and multiple meanings.
This is never more true then when we're talking about a "fool" or a "nudnek," a
"shliemel," or a "schnook." Face it. We Jews don't bear fools lightly. Who has
time?
So is it surprising that we have more words in Yiddish for fools than
there are Golden Arches? These words are so delicious, many have become part of
American jargon. Do you have the story about these words, and what they truly
mean? In case you don't, as a public service, we are proud to present the first
…
Yiddish-Yinglish Dictionary of Fools
Bulvan: An ox, with no class. He'll move your house on his back – without
asking.
Chaim Yankel: A mister nobody. His favorite color is beige.
Chaleria: A shrew. If her pastrami's fatty, she'll make a federal case.
Chazzer: A pig: He'll take home the cheap wine he brought you for Passover.
Draycup: She one not only forgot her address, she's in the wrong city.
Eingeshparht: He's got a head like a rock.
Gantseh Makher: He made a few bucks selling whoopie cushions, so suddenly he's
Trump. Synonym: K'nocker
Gonif: Unscrupulous, a thief. His partner's sent out an APB.
Grubber yung: Crude. A big mouth who has dirt (from grabbing) under his
fingernails.
Klutz: Clumsy. She falls over her own sneakers– fastened with Velco.
Kvetch: A whiner. The food's salty, the place is chilly, eating out – who needs
it?
Luftmensch: A dreamer – who never wakes up. He could paint a masterpiece, if
only he had an easel – and know how.
Meshugener: A loony. Whether he thinks his underwear is after him or barrels
over Niagra Falls, he's one letter short of an M&M.
Moishe Kapoyr: Today he'd be called "oppositional." The family votes to hold the
reunion in Vegas. He votes for Vilna.
Nar: He left his law practice to become a clown.
Nayfish: A doormat. When he's robbed, he apologizes for being short on cash.
Nebekh: A hapless unfortunate. He gets stepped on by accident a lot.
Nuchshlepper: A hanger-on. She shleps the 200 pound camping gear for the group.
Nudnik: A persistent bore. She doesn't stop with the talking, the asking, the
annoying till you want to staple his lips together.
Nudzh: A pesty badgerer. She tells you twelve times to check the locks. Unlike
the nudnik, it could be an occasional occurrence.
Ongeblussen: A self-involved blowhard. If his last name is Moses, he thinks the
Bible gave him a mention.
Oysvorf: Unpopular outcast. Think David Duke at a Hadassah meeting.
Paskudnyak: A revolting, corrupt person. For him, there would be a very short
funeral.
Shikker: A drunk. She has a little chaser with her Cheerios.
Shlemiel: A pathetic, clumsy loser. He drives over – through your living room.
Shlimazel: An unlucky loser. He's the one the shlemiel was visiting.
Shlump: Unkempt, saggy. She shleps, stooped, with her hair in strings.
Shmeggege: An idiotic doofus. Short of a "meshuganah," he's sure he'll make a
killing with his musical toilet seat ... and acts like a makher about it.
Shmendrik: Nincompoop. A fraternal twin to a shlemiel, he's thinner and weaker.
Shnook: A likeable patsy. You could sell him a time-share in Area 51, and he'll
pay top dollar – for vacationing on an historical site.
Shnorror: A beggar. He's forever borrowing, taking advantage. Bad for a potluck
party.
Trombenik: A lazy braggart. Not only does he blow his own horn, he doesn't own
one.
Yuchna: A loud-mouthed, boorish female. In Loehmann's dressing room she'll yell
"It would fit if you lost a few pounds!"
Yutz: Socially inept. He takes you to a restaurant with a clown face and spends
the evening discussing his train collection.
Zshlub: Lazy slob. He shows up with schmutz on his untucked shirt. To Archie
Bunker, "meathead" looked like a zshlub when he met him – although he'd never
say it.
Marnie Winston-Macauley is the author of Yiddishe Mamas: The Truth About the
Jewish Mother and the award-winning A Little Joy, A Little Oy.