Are You Stupid or Just Intellectually Impaired?
Not being a big fan of political correctness nor of psychological crudity or cruelty, the title of a submission, "Politically Correct Ways to Say Someone Is Stupid," evoked an approach-avoidance conflict. What won me over is the manner in which the list helps transform the crude, "Is he or she stupid, or what!," into a less heavy-handed, more playful and colorful expression. Sort of like replacing a sledgehammer with a scalpel: better surgically correct than politically so. Obviously, both can be cutting. However, the former tries to destroy, the other to deflate. And, if anyone out there believes he (or she) never has need for some ego deflation, I shall happily poke the first needle!
Still, what really captured my attention is the wonderful array of images and metaphors. The ability to generate multiple perspectives, to see more than one way of identifying an event or of approaching a problem (or a problematic person) is a hallmark of conceptual flexibility and creative thinking.
And the list builds on a humoristic (if not humanistic) tradition. I believe it was Groucho Marx who told an antagonist: "Why don't you drill a hole in your head and let the sap run out." So, JENnERIC E, thank you both for your generous and imaginative sharing. (I assume you are a couple. Or are we dealing with multiple personalities as well as multiple perspectives?) And, of course, you both earn your satirical stripes to the Stress Doc's StressBuster's Club.
33 Politically Correct Ways to Say Someone Is Stupid:
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
And finally, just remember...Practice Safe Stress!
Feedback Segment: How about sharing your thoughts on how you, friends or colleagues use humor in dealing with stress, conflict or moods, yours or others, in your personal life, at home or at work? HFTE will run the best stories and, of course, credit you. (And the real lagniappe, you become a member of the Stress Doc's Stress Buster's Club.) Also, email me to learn more about "The Stress Doc's" upcoming serious and humorous on-line support/chat group -- "The Frequent Sighers Club.
Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader and author on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. The Stress Doc is a columnist for the popular cyber-newsletter, Humor From The Edge. Mark is also the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource network, Online Psych . His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com .