Challenging Authority

Ever have to deal with a roommate, friend or colleague who knows it all and is quick to point out everyone else's errors? We know, usually, this person is actually feeling pretty insecure. And the person's answer for everything is probably inversely proportional to his or her self-worth. Still, there's a limit to one's patience and understanding. And when that happens...consider these two approaches. First, there's the memorable quote from the French author, Andre Gide in his book The Immoralist. (A quote that I memorized years ago when dealing with an all-knowing family member.): "One must allow other's to be right. It consoles them for not being anything else." Now I'm not saying to hit your omniscient antagonist with these words. Just hold on to Gide for your self-assurance and sanity.

 And second, with practice, you can even come to your own verbal defense. I recall an exchange with my five year younger brother, a research psychologist; not a therapist. One day I was telling Larry about some difficult work I had done with a family, some family interventions that I thought were both creative and effective. Upon hearing my description, my brother pipes in, "You should have said such and such to the father." I was struck by the witty but pretty insensitive suggestion, and grimaced. Seeing my expression my brother quickly pounced, "What's the matter, you afraid the father would punch you out." At this point I counterpunched. "No, I have a higher standard of plagiarism!"

 Just remember...practice safe stress!