"R & R" for Creative Transition
My training and consulting business runs in cycles - feast or fast. Fast as in famished, not as in high gear. Over the years, I've learned to live with the hunger pains and financial arrest. A small private practice provides CPR to my cashflow. This excess of free time, lamented at first, gradually provides an infusion of ideas and activity. If I can tame my impatience and vulnerability, the opportunity for exploring new marketing and networking paths invariably demonstrates why hype, if not hope springs eternal! Bringing Back the Future Let me retrace a disruptive career event that occurred last year. The unexpected event and its aftermath is the theme of this essay: how loss and defeat can be a catalyst for my version of "R & R" - "Retreat and Return" for a creative career transition.
Basically, I was let go after two years as a part-time organizational development/team building consultant for a major federal government agency. The agency went through a reorganization. As luck would have it, just a few weeks before the changeover, I encountered the as yet undesignated but soon to be chief in two problem-solving, sectional team meetings. Alas, I had to set some limits on this future leader's excessive controlling, talking and process suffocating ways. Stress Doc...won't you ever learn: Discretion is the better part of self-preservation! So you know who was considered superfluous once our fairly inexperienced Napoleon Blownapart became the reorganized department head. (Ironically, I had received feedback from several employees that these had been their most open, honest and productive sectional meetings.)
Picasso's Injunction Every act of creation is first of all an act of
destruction.
Pablo Picasso
While home, missing some comrades and worrying about my cash flow, a mix of wounded pride and frustration was bubbling inside. Having extra time, I could no longer avoid the "reality" right in front of my face: there was uncharted territory waiting to be explored if I would confront the unknown and the possibility of rejection. I had been on AOL for over a year, but did little with it other than read some email and respond to personal ads. I knew, like myself, AOL was an under-utilized resource. And predictably, whenever slow times would hit, the gnawing belief that I should be writing would surface. So, the coalescing of issues and timing, pain and passion finally thrust me into cyberspace exploration.
On the Edge
Mousing around a writer's bulletin board, I came upon a solicitation that caught my eye: an electronic humor newsletter was looking for writers. I emailed with some humorous psychology articles. And, to my surprise, instead of a black hole venture, customary runaround or proforma rejection letter (typical of offline operations), I received a personal response. The newsletter's editor, SV Honey, liked my style and message; she promised to forward my material to the publisher, the Jokemeistr.
Now Rick was a bit cautious as my pieces were quite different than the kind of explicit jokes, "top ten" lists or computer humor that, at the time, were the usual fare of Humor From the Edge (HFTE).
At first, he challenged me to condense my pieces to 100 words. (Later, the editor confided that the Jokemeistr didn't think I'd be up to it.) And initially, the skepticism was well founded. "What! You can't restrict a psychologically deep, creative writer like this."
Well, I put a lid on my ego. Wrote several short "psychohumor" stories. And, by early February, reader feedback came pouring in. A number of people liked the novel perspective. Others, especially the younger audience, reacted to me like an unwanted cyber alien, if not a virus in their software. I was contaminating the purity of their newsletter. From my slightly biased perspective, of course, to Rick's credit and editorial integrity, he weathered the cyberstorm. The man even generously allowed a gradual expansion of my word quota. (And his three times/week newsletter, despite my presence, has grown to over 10,000 readers and counting.)
From On the Edge to Online Psycho...
Building on my nascent success and growing confidence, I used HFTE as a main space station and launched author inquiries to other corners of cyberspace. And fortunately, I connected with Kelly, the website manager of America On Line's major mental health resource, Online Psych (OLP). Kelly, a former psychotherapist, quickly saw the fit. By April, she and her staff had created a "Stress Doc Home Page" (Keyword: Stress Doc). In fact, OLP helped catalyze my latest job title -- "Online Psychohumorist" (tm). (As always, I let the reader decide whether the emphasis should be on the first or latter part of the word, "psychohumorist.")
Without a doubt, writing for Humor From the Edge, Online Psych and, since the summer, the internet newsletter, Financial Services Journal Online, has a whole new world unfolding. Not only was my confidence, marketability and skill as a writer growing (practice does make damn good), I now was committed to work with my web maven on website design and update. And, as I've previously mentioned, in September, the "Stress Doc's" psychohumor was featured as a USA Today Online "Hot Site."
An "R & R" Revolution
So what's the moral of this tale of redemption and rejuvenation? I think Albert Camus, in his Youthful Writings, captures it best: "Once we have accepted the fact of loss, we understand that the loved one [or loved position] obstructed a whole corner of the possible pure now as a sky washed by rain." I had to grieve the demise of the consulting position and return to my heart before reengaging the fray and recovering my passion. This time, however, I was exploring and choosing a new battleground. No loss, no pain, no gain. Or, as I once penned: "Whether the loss is a key person, a desired position or a powerful illusion, each deserves the respect of a mourning. The pit in the stomach, the clenched fist and quivering jaw, the anguished sobs prove catalytic in time. In mystical fashion, like Spring upon Winter, the seeds of dissolution bear fruitful renewal."
So here's my acronym for creative transition::
C...Let constructive discontent smolder and "transform the fire to burning desire"
R...Be risk-taking, be brave, get out of your comfort zone; grapple with rejection
E...Learn to experiment; put your ego on the side and patiently explore possibilities
A...Acknowlege and cultivate ambition; yet know the difference between vision and hallucination; and don't be afraid to ask for support
T...Value thrustration, that innovative push-pull among frustration, uncertainty and spontaneity
E...Embrace evolution, not just goal attainment;
"Retreat and Return" is an ongoing process; remember, many battles are fought and lost before a major undertaking is won! So, here's to some uncommon "R & R" along with wishes for transforming your career path. And, as always...Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, the "Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national speaker and trainer on stress, communications, team building, creativity and HUMOR. He is the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource, Online Psych, and for the internet newsletters Humor From the Edge and Financial Services Journal Online. Mark is also a Contributing Writier for the national publications Treatment Today and Paradigm Magazine. And, the "Doc" is a critical incident specialist for a variety of EAPs. For more info, call (202) 232-8662, check his website - recently featured as a USA Today Online "Hot Site" - at: http://www.stressdoc.com or email Stress Doc@aol.com. Special Announcement: The Stress Doc is starting a Multi-Media Coaching for Consultants Program, especially (though not exclusively) for allied/mental health professionals, organizational trainers and consultants, counselors and educators. For information on the products and instructional services, including one-on-one online consultation and particpation in a bulletin board and chat/support group, email him at Stress Doc@aol.com