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Down & Outraged
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Down & Outraged

Here's an email from a reader, both funny and poignant. The letter rates a whole column. And I'll take a whack at it next time.

 Dear Ever So Mighty Stress Doc, (Ed note: You know you're getting set up for a rather impossible task with that intro.)

Several months ago I had written to you about the Self-inflicted stress that a fabulous new Hairdo had created in my life...Of course you remember; how could you not..!! (Of course. Do you think this column is simply a case of hair today, gone tomorrow?) South Tampa Debutante shaves head and bleaches it Blonde!!!! Oh, I look back on those days with extreme fondness, wishing I could go back to the simple glorious moments, which I truly percieved as stressful then...

My life had become as grand as my wildest dreams, all the attention, the head turning and whispers of -- "I think it is Bridget Neilson" -- made it all worth while. And I was starting to transcend from boring yuppie comformist to an actual trendsetting radical, although I still refuse to get a tattoo...

 And then it happened...Jumping out of a plane with a group of fellow crazy people. A huge gust took me right before my landing and sailed me into unknown territory...Planted left foot right into a damn hole. It got stuck and ripped my knee right out of the joint..."Ouch-e-munga." I said, "Ouch-e-munga....Damn this hole." This event rendered me with only one option...Total knee reconstruction. So I said, "Ok, I am woman enough to take it...Just Do It !!!!!"

 It was at this point that I put my total trust in a stinking HMO doctor, Doctor G. (who graduated at the bottom of his class). But did I know this before the surgery !!!!...No Dammitt...!!!! Under the care of Dr. G. and his best efforts, I have been turned into a beautiful woman with a fabulous hairdo who can't walk...Now this is what I call real stress.

 I went to battle with my insurance company to change doctors. The way they drag their ass you would think they can't walk either...I won. I now have a new surgeon who graduated # 1 in his class...He thinks he will be able to fix the complete and total botch job Dr. G. did on my Knee.

 So anyway Doc, I am so stressed out right now, sometimes I feel like throwing this computer right out the window at anyone one who walks by, just because their walking and I'm not.

 Not only am I stressed out but my Great Dane (Piper..named after the airplane) is so depressed....She walks around the yard with her nose dragging the ground, then comes over to the window to look at me sitting at the computer leaving a wet drippy spot every single time. So now there is so much slobber on the window you can only see a blurred image of what the outside world might look like..

 I just thank God my sense of humor was left in tact after the accident, the surgery and all the crummy drugs you have to take...So I try to focus on the good things that have come out of this experience...Like for instance, the nice new shiny 4 prong cane that was given to me by my insurance company. I have extreme gratitude for that because, when I retire and I am on a fixed income, this is one less item I will have to purchase. And surely by then the cost would be completely out of my geriatric budget...And then there are the top of the line crutches which, by the way, have been totally renovated by an artist friend of mine...Probably will be worth a fortune in just a few short years...So I look at them like an investment, appreciating every step I take with them.

 I could go on, but for now I have to go to pool therapy (where) my elderly class mates call me Ester Williams. Must be my relentless gracefulness that is seemingly so natural for me (the chorus girl in me). Doc, this is a real story, and I eat humble pie every single morning for breakfast, praying for the day I can get my life back...Would appreciate any tips on managing this kind of stress, Kudasai ! Kudasai ! Please, Please

 Domo arigato gozaimasu.... Thank-you very much... Nihon...Japanese... Not walking today ...Tampa, Fl

 Ester, keep treading water. I'll be back on Friday, with some Stress Doc strategies. Until then...Practice Safe Stress!

 Feedback Segment: How about sharing your thoughts on how you, friends or colleagues use humor in dealing with stress, conflict or moods, yours or others, in your personal life, at home or at work? HFTE will run the best stories and, of course, credit you. (And the real lagniappe, you become a member of the Stress Doc's StressBusters Club.) Also, email me to learn more about "The Stress Doc's" upcoming serious and humorous on-line support/chat group -- "The Frequent Sighers Club.

 Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader and author on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. The Stress Doc is a columnist for the popular cyber-newsletter, Humor From The Edge. Mark is also the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource network, Online Psych . His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com