Electronic Communications: E-Mail or Missile

 The Hill is alive with the sound of...MANIC! Washington, DC is once again reviving from a seasonal slumber and revealing its true nature. People are not just perspiring from the heat...but are starting to sweat from the stress. One sure sign is the large turnout of those 20-30 something professionals for my stress class at the National Capital YMCA. We probably ranged from conservative idealists who will save the world from welfare to conservationists who insist our survival as a species depends on the fate of the endangered Australian tit mouse.

 However, it wasn't idealism that brought these firebrands out. In DC, you have to take a class from a Stress Management expert (I'm the Stress Coach at the "Y") certifying that within two years of moving to the nation's capital you've had at least one significant burnout experience. Preferably, it should be at least Stage Three quality: "Cynicism and Callousness." (See my series on "The Four Stages of Burnout" at http:www.stressdoc.com .) Lacking this certification, you immediately get bumped from the career fast track for being a wimp and a slacker.

 The Classic Catch

 I call this variation on the Catch-22 theme, Career-22. To show top management you are serious in your career obsession (whatever happened to hard-driving ambition?) one must push himself or herself to the point of exhaustion, if not collapse. It's an existential career crossroad. A young professional, with any remaining sanity and integrity (yes, there are some folks possessing both in Washington, but their numbers are running down) starts thinking, "Take this job and shove it." One cycles from obsessed to enraged to consumed, trying to please and impress while, ultimately, losing one's self. And having virtually self-immolated, these firebrands are no longer a serious threat to the ensconced senior staffers, nor even to the dead wood.

 Not surprisingly, the overriding learning objective of my class attendees was how to deal with the angry fires smoldering within. Smart thinking. It's the Doc's old maxim:

 If you're not concerned about being burnt up... you'll soon be consumed by being burnt out.

 A Classic Tale

 Or pushed out. One of the participants shared an all too familiar scenario. This young male professional had been angry with his older male boss for indiscriminately doling out credit for the successful completion of an important computer project. His boss had sent a general memo thanking practically everyone in the organization. Our protagonist believed he and a couple of his assistants did the lion's share of the work. They should have received the lion's share of the credit. So he roared his disapproval.

 Actually, our member of the working wounded would have done better if he growled directly at and bared his teeth to his boss. Instead, what did he do? He sent an electronic message - in this case a telephone voice mail - expressing his strong displeasure. BEEEEEP! Wrong strategy! Not only has our long suffering hero been on the outs with his boss for the last few months, but he's getting weird looks from other's in the office: "Is this guy about to go Postal!" Apparently, his superior did a pay back, a passive revenge number. The boss shared the voice mail message with a number of people up and down the organizational ladder.

 E-Mail: Ego or Escape

 I can't tell you how often I encounter electronic message systems, especially e-mail, being misused as an interoffice communications device. First, people get in trouble for impulsively launching a message that's more missile than missive. For example, I recall an experienced "think tank" professional who thought he was directing a personal e-mail tirade to a particular antagonist. He hit the wrong send button and his message went out worldwide. Shortly thereafter, prompted by his department chief, he was in my office to get his "anger problem" under control.

 I don't care how good a writer you are. If your "justified" anger has a self-righteous quality it will contaminate your e-mail message. It won't take an overly sensitive reader for the hostility to jump off the screen. No one can read your facial expressions or body language from a monitor. It's difficult to put your message in a context other than the belligerent box staring the reader or listener in the face. It's easy to read into your correspondence tone and attitude.

 Finally, the most seductive trap with voice and e-mail is that you can avoid, in the short run, a face-to-face (or voice-to-voice) confrontation with your antagonist. It's why I refer to e-mail as "escape" mail. And it's also why, I believe, electronic messages have contributed to the atrophying of interpersonal interoffice conflict resolution skills.

 Hey, I know e-mail is a fabulous addition to our communications arsenal. Don't let it destroy office coordination and cooperation...or your hard-earned reputation!

 Just remember...Practice Safe Stress!

 Feedback Segment: How about sharing your thoughts on how you, friends or colleagues use humor in dealing with stress, conflict or moods, yours or others, in your personal life, at home or at work? HFTE will run the best stories and, of course, credit you. (And the real lagniappe, you become a member of the Stress Doc's StressBusters Club.) Also, email me to learn more about "The Stress Doc's" upcoming serious and humorous on-line support/chat group -- "The Frequent Sighers Club.

 Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader and author on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. The Stress Doc is a columnist for the popular cyber-newsletter, Humor From The Edge. Mark is also the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource network, Online Psych . His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com