Going DC/DC
Having a Digital City-Dynamic Chat Experience
by Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc"
What are your first thoughts when reading, "chat room" or "chat group?" And if they are x-rated, don't keep them to yourself…I want the links. No, just kidding. But for a lot of folks, I bet common associations are, "weirdos engaged in cybersex" or some kind of flaming food fight, like a scene from some virtual Animal House.
Well, I'm here to say that you can have great virtual energy, a lot of interaction, a free-flowing, thought-provoking and supportive exchange of ideas, insights and action plans, group bonding and, even, some person to person networking and socializing within a serious chat forum. But it takes trial and error, teamwork and time.
Teamed with a terrific host for the past four months, I've been America Online/Digital City-Washington's stress expert for the chat program, "Shrink Rap and Group Chat." Recently, KarenSnyd@aol.com, Features Editor, Digital City, proposed a weekly format. We had been running two groups per month. (The weekly format launches Monday Aug 17th, from 9-10:30pm EDT; here's the link: <A HREF="aol://4344:363.gorkin.5732839.568857121">Dig City Promo - Stress Doc</A>.
I protect my time pretty closely; my near spontaneous agreement told me I had come a long way in this chat business. Let me briefly trace my evolution - from awkward beginnings to current level of chat confidence. And I'll conclude with the Stress Doc's "Top Ten" Tips for Facilitating a DC/DC: Digital City/Dynamic Chat Experience or "The DC Squared (2x) Experience."
Start Up Anxiety and Learning Curve
The initial questions and doubts involved three basic issues - speed, interactivity and depth.
1. Speed. Not being a keyboard killer or anywhere near the fastest typist in cyberspace, I figured I'd be dead meat in any shootouts at the OK (Keyboard) Corral. Okay, so I get a little paranoid. But the first few chats I did take some ribbing about my lag time. My response, "Great minds, like great wine, can't be rushed," didn't cut it. No surprise; virtual reality is a time-sensitive medium.
Fortunately, audience pressure, my New Yorker's sense of competition, heightened adrenaline and just sheer repetition produced a noticeable increase in my word output. Another important speed booster was becoming less uptight about typing errors or my propensity for inventing new words. Sometimes a little ambiguity can have participants thinking, "Boy this Stress Doc guy is pretty deep." (How's that for rationalization?)
2. Interactivity. A final consideration bears weight on the second, interactivity issue. If you want a chat group with a synergistic blend of expert input and group participation, then a dynamic balance between formal and free-flowing structure is required. You can overprotocol a chat group, if not to death, to group inertia. With a gradual increase in confidence, my chat host and I increasingly err on the side of spontaneity over structure. Cross type/talk is encouraged. Sure it sometimes gets confusing - who's up next?, a bunch of words flying on the screen, keeping up with the dialogue sequence. But this is what generates ideas, involvement and intimacy. Of course spontaneity-structure is not a black or white issue. (And I'll detail specific techniques and strategies shortly.)
There's also a relationship among speed, interactivity and leader efficiency. To support a process of group sharing, a leader must risk putting ideas or responses on the screen that aren't precisely worded, perfectly prepared or fully formed (which doesn't make them uninformed or misinformed). Especially with a split window (upper half for host and expert) your kernels and morsels won't get lost in the spicy lower screen group gumbo. And, if needed, you can keep seasoning your responses. Just don't get too obsessive.
3. Depth vs. Breadth. In the early going, the thought of responding to a complex, heartfelt question on the fly seemed daunting . Would I know what to say? And even if I had a clue, in light of typing and time constraints, how could my responses be anything but superficial? Well, I still struggle at times with these questions, but I now realize two things: a) I have a store of basic and substantive information - ideas, resources and strategies - that cut across a variety of problem areas and b) I don't have to have all the answers or have in-depth answers, at my finger tips, as it were, all the time. Letting go of the all-knowing expert persona became easier as I allowed and encouraged the collective expertise and wisdom of the group. By patiently surveying group responses, I can selectively comment and intervene. This strategy also provides needed rest for the fingers, not to mention the neurons.
Key DCE Strategies
Seems like we're ready for, The Stress Doc's "Top Ten" Tips for Orchestrating a DC/DC Experience - Digital City-Dynamic Chat (DC2) Experience:
1. Warm Up Topic. The primary focus of Shrink Rap and Group Chat is creating a mutual sharing-stress support group for participants. However, I begin each group with some thoughts on a particular theme - dealing with anger, online "romantasy," creative risk-taking, career transition, emancipation procrastination, etc. In addition to attracting folks interested in the topic, this introductory patter warms up my mind and fingers. Also, it gives latecomers a chance to take their seats without missing the main attraction.
2. Protocol vs. Process. Here is the great existential question: is the chat dynamic shaped more by structure or spontaneous interaction? Initially, my host and I not only had a cueing process or lineup for asking questions, but it seemed people had to signal a desire to comment or respond to a remark. Also, I was a bit too serious in my role and status as expert. For example, too often I felt obliged to respond with a quick diagnosis or answer to a member's question.
After one small group, with caution and cueing thrown to the ether, and the heady sensation of a virtual free-for-all, Shrink Rap and Group Chat began creatively grappling with structure and spontaneity: we retained a cueing process for posing questions while encouraging free-flowing associations or cross type/talk. Sure it can get a bit chaotic, but the group energy and engagement seems a productive tradeoff.
3. Primary Roles of Host and Expert. From the chat expert's perspective, the key host functions include welcoming participants, introducing the topic (and periodically providing protocol macros - standardized announcements - for latecomers), along with organizing and facilitating the cueing/asking questions process as well as being an active participant. Of course, another vital charge is dealing with disruptive members. (See 9. below.)
Increasingly, as the stress expert, I see myself in an ongoing ebb and flow between sharing relevant information and opinion and encouraging or stimulating audience input and group energy. Hopefully, the result produces a synergy or collective cohesion and wisdom whereby the whole is greater than the sum of its partners.
4. Orchestrating the Direction and Emphasis. A key group process technique involves modulating or shifting the direction or focus when it appears an important perspective is being overlooked or overdramatized. For example, a single mother may be attributing her exhaustion to frustrations with her children or the challenge of balancing work and family responsibilities. Clearly, real sources of stress. The group is invariably supportive, often providing concrete problem-solving suggestions. An additional need involves assessing how effectively this mother and her children have grieved the father's departure, no matter what the circumstances of his absence. Also, the woman may benefit from understanding that her current family trial and tribulations will stir unresolved emotional conflicts related to her own family of origin.
5. Closing Down Discussion. Especially when you have a full house and a lengthy cue, reaching timely closure between questioner and participants is vital. Look for these four signs. The questioner: a) has shared basic information, b) vented his or her frustration, c) received support and has a little deeper or broader understanding of the bio-psycho-social dynamics of the problem and d) believes he or she has gained some concrete problem-solving suggestions and resources.
When wrapping up a discussion, I try not to be too hard and fast. Member comments may trickle in. My host and I have involved some sympatico on closure timing: he will ask if I want another question or I will signal my readiness. And the questioner almost always accepts the need to move on to another person. (Of course, the questioners can go back on the cueing list.) I also encourage folks to email me post-chat for further information or for one of my articles around a specific concern.
6. Window of Opportunity. What a difference a split screen makes. I can wax poetic on how much easier it is to impart introductory or cueing list information when it's separated from audience messages. Leader messages comprise the top half of the window. While my ego revels in being on top, that's just fluff. The split screen encourages spontaneous group participation or what I call creative yet controlled chaos. Being free to jump in and be easily noticed allows me to hold back longer, which invites more peer interaction. Ironically, by being visibly on top I can lead subtly from behind.
7. Basic Knowledge and Resources. As mentioned earlier, one of the biggest challenges as a chat leader is providing substantive information or meaningful answers to complex issues in a time-limited format. A key support is the group knowledge bank. The leader doesn't need to have all the answers. At the same time, a chat leader should have some stock answers and resources close at hand. For example, for folks with a tight budget for whom offline psychological counseling is indicated, I consistently encourage counseling services through their local United Way, Catholic Charities or, even, a 12-step group. Many folks don't know that a substance abuse problem isn't required to attend groups like Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) or Codependents Anonymous (CODA). Coming from a good old-fashioned dysfunctional family will get you through the door.
8. Who's Up Next? A noticeable problem occurs when the person next on the question cue has disappeared or doesn't step up to the screen. Not surprisingly, when the host is calling for a ghost there's dead time. Dead time is undesirable because: a) I'm basically an impatient Type A New Yorker, and I'm not alone. There's a lot of "Type A"s flying around in cyberspace. In fact, once hooked on faster and faster modem speed and increasing megahertz levels, users start typing with a New York accent, b) silence is always a difficult group dynamic to handle for leaders and members, but it's especially challenging in a virtual context (no facial expressions or body language to read), and c) the void can be filled with postings that make it harder to get back into the proper question sequence and group discussion/answer track. In our chat, we're experimenting with a new procedure -- listing the next three people in the cue. This seems to reduce the time for the next appropriate person in line to do their primal screen.
9. Battling Bozos. Upon reflection, we've only had a couple of really disruptive characters. Perhaps the basically serious nature of the group has set the tone. Also, when necessary, the chat host's prompt and tactful reminder establishes what is in and off bounds. At times, other group members have confronted a CONSTANT LOUDMOUTH.
I do recall one person who was out of control. This guy was trashing everything we said, provocatively questioning my credentials, starting deliberately diversionary crosstalk unrelated to the question/discussion on the screen and attempting to enlist allies in his flame and defame campaign. I finally decided to counterpunch by asking, "Have you forgotten your Prozac." That slowed him down and got his attention. I could just hear the sneer in his reply, "Good one, Doc." My host eventually got an AOL rep to administer a TOS (Terms of Service) sanction. As far as I know, he's never shown up again.
As a leader, be prepared for challenges to your authority and angry reactions and misinterpretations of your comments. Recently, one woman branded something I said as, "a sexist remark." I didn't argue with her. Others didn't come to her defense/offense. I just typed, "What was a sexist remark?" And the matter passed. Often, discretion is the better part of chat valor.
10. Closing Ritual. A graduated series of good-byes seems to work best, even if this means lingering after the designated closing. First, I'll always try to give time to folks who've waited patiently in the question cue. Second, the success of the chat and the cohesiveness of the group is directly proportional to the amount of time needed for (((hugs))), applauding of our team effort, thank yous, exchange of emails, etc. Also, as I indicated, I share my website and email address for any follow-up. Reminding folks of the upcoming chat will be easier going to a weekly format. The termination process reminds me of how folks are reluctant to leave a really good party. But eventually, I say, "Goodnight Paul and good night all; great job; see you next time." And the lights are turned out…but the group glow lingers.
So in closing, go for it. Use these "Top Ten" tips to create your own DC/DC - Digital City/Dynamic Chat Experience. Here's the link again for our Monday nights, 9-10:30pm show -- <A HREF="aol://4344:363.gorkin.5732839.568857121"> Chat with the Stress Doc</A>. To good adventures and, as always…Practice Safe Stress!