The Stress Doc completes his two-part series on creating a "Dynamic Chat Experience." The interactive energy and ideas generated by his "Top Ten" group dynamics and group process concepts and techniques has him wondering: "Shrink Rap and Group Chat"...is it real or is it virtual?
GOING DC/DC, Part II
Having a Digital City-Dynamic Chat Experience
Last time I sketched three factors that influence group energy and the static vs. dynamic, the structured vs. spontaneous quality of the chat experience: leader keyboard speed, an interactive approach, and the depth vs. breadth of responses. Also highlighted was my evolutionary experience from awkward chat group leader/stress expert to confident chat facilitator. And this metamorphosis occurred none too soon. After our group on Monday, August 3rd, and then a two week hiatus, "Shrink Rap and Group Chat," (SRGC) begins a new format. Starting Tuesday , SRGC will meet each Tuesday from 9-10:30pm EDT. Here's the link: <A HREF="aol://4344:363.gorkin.5732839.568857121">Dig City Promo - Stress Doc</A>
Key DC/DC Techniques and Strategies
As promised, here are The Stress Doc's "Top Ten Tips for Orchestrating a DC/DC Experience - Digital City-Dynamic Chat (DC2) Experience:
1. Warm Up Topic. The primary focus of Shrink Rap and Group Chat is creating a mutual sharing stress support group for participants. However, I begin each group with some thoughts on a particular theme - dealing with anger, online "romantasy," creative risk-taking, career transition, emancipation procrastination, etc. In addition to attracting folks interested in the topic, this introductory patter warms up my mind and fingers. Also, it gives latecomers a chance to take their seats without missing the main attraction.
2. Protocol vs. Process. Here is the great existential question: is the chat dynamic shaped more by structure or spontaneous interaction? Initially, my host and I not only had a cueing process or lineup for asking questions, but it seemed people had to signal a desire to comment or respond to a remark. Also, I was a bit too serious in my role and status as expert. For example, too often I felt obliged to respond with an quick diagnosis or answer to a member's question.
After one small group, with caution and cueing thrown to the ether, and heady sensation of a virtual free-for-all, Shrink Rap and Group Chat began creatively grappling with structure and spontaneity: we retained a cueing process for posing questions while encouraging free-flowing associations or cross type/talk. Sure it can get a bit chaotic, but the group energy and engagement seems a productive tradeoff.
3. Primary Roles of Host and Expert. From the chat expert's perspective, the key host functions include welcoming participants, introducing the topic (and periodically providing protocol macros - standardardized announcements - for latecomers), along with organizing and facilitating the cueing/asking questions process. Of course, another vital charge is dealing with disruptive members. (See 9. below.)
Increasingly, as the stress expert, I see myself in an ongoing ebb and flow between sharing expert information and opinion and encouraging and stimulating audience input and group energy. Hopefully, the result produces a synergy or collective cohesion and wisdom whereby the whole is greater than the sum of its partners.
4. Orchestrating the Direction and Emphasis. A key group process technique involves modulating or shifting the direction or focus when it appears an important perspective is being overlooked or overdramatized. For example, a single mother may be attributing her exhaustion to frustrations with her children or the challenge of balancing work and family responsibilities. Clearly, real sources of stress. The group is invariably supportive, often providing concrete problem-solving suggestions. An additional need involves assessing how effectively this mother and her children have grieved the father's departure, no matter what the circumstances of his absence. Also, the woman may benefit from understanding that her current family trial and tribulations will stir unresolved emotional conflicts with her own family of origin.
5. Closing Down Discussion. Especially when you have a full house and a lengthy cue, reaching timely closure between questioner and participants is vital. Look for these four signs. The questioner: a) has shared basic information, b) vented his or her frustration, c) received support and has a little deeper or broader understanding of the bio-psycho-social dynamics of the problem and d) believes he or she has gained some concrete problem-solving suggestions and resources.
When wrapping up a discussion, I try not to be too hard and fast. Member comments may trickle in. My host and I have involved some sympatico on closure timing: he will ask if I want another question or I will signal my readiness. And the questioner almost always accepts the need to move on to another person. (Of course, the questioners can go back on the cueing list.) I also encourage folks to email me post-chat for further information or one of my articles on a specific concern.
6. Window of Opportunity. What a difference a split screen makes. I can wax poetic on how much easier it is to impart introductory or cueing list information when it's separated from audience messages. Leader messages comprise the top half of the window. While my ego revels in being on top, that's just fluff. The split screen encourages spontaneous group participation or what I call creative yet controlled chaos. Being free to jump in and be easily noticed allows me to hold back longer, which invites more peer interaction. Ironically, by being visibly on top I can lead subtly from behind.
7. Basic Knowledge and Resources. As mentioned earlier, one of the biggest challenges as a chat leader is providing substantive information or meaningful answers to complex issues in a time-limited format. A key support is the group knowledge bank. The leader doesn't need to have all the answers. At the same time, a chat leader should have some stock answers and resources close at hand. For example, for folks with a tight budget for whom offline psychological counseling is indicated, I consistently encourage counseling services through their local United Way, Catholic Charities or, even, a 12-step group. Many folks don't know that a substance abuse problem isn't required to attend groups like Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) or Codependents Anonymous (CODA). Coming from a good old-fashioned dysfunctional family will get you through the door.
8. Who's Up Next? A noticeable problem occurs when the person next on the question cue has disappeared or doesn't step up to the screen. Not surprisingly, when the host is calling for a ghost there's dead time. Dead time is undesirable because: a) I'm basically an impatient Type A New Yorker, and I'm not alone. There's a lot of "Type A"s flying around in cyberspace. In fact, once hooked on faster and faster modem speed and increasing megahertz levels, users start typing with a New York accent, b) silence is always a difficult group dynamic to handle for leaders and members, but it's especially challenging in a virtual context (no facial expressions or body language to read), and c) the void can be filled with postings that make it harder to get back into the proper question sequence and group discussion/answer track. In our chat we're experimenting with a new procedure -- listing the next three people in the cue. This seems to reduce the time for the next appropriate person in line to do their primal screen.
9. Battling Bozos. Upon reflection, we've only had a couple of really disruptive characters. Perhaps the basically serious nature of the group has set the tone. Also, when necessary, the chat host's prompt and tactful reminder establishes what is in and off bounds. At times, other group members have a confronted a CONSTANT LOUDMOUTH.
I do recall one person who was out of control. This guy was trashing everything we said, provocatively questioning my credentials, starting deliberately diversionary crosstalk unrelated to the question on the screen and attempting to enlist allies in his flame and defame campaign. I finally decided to counterpunch by asking, "Have you forgotten your Prozac." That slowed him down and got his attention. I could just hear in his reply, "Good one, Doc." My host eventually got an AOL rep to administer a TOS (Terms of Service) sanction. As far as I know, he's never shown up again.
As a leader, be prepared for challenges to your authority and angry reactions and misinterpretations of your comments. Recently, one woman branded something I said as, "a sexist remark." I didn't argue with her. Others didn't come to her defense/offense. I just typed, "What was a sexist remark?" And the matter passed. Often, discretion is the better part of chat valor.
10. Closing Ritual. A graduated series of good-byes seems to work best, even if this means lingering after the designated closing. First, I'll always try to give time to folks who've waited patiently in the question cue. Second, the success of the chat and the cohesiveness of the group is directly proportional to the amount of time needed for (((hugs))), applauding of our team effort, thank yous, exchange of emails, etc. Also, as I indicated I share my website and email address for any follow-up. Reminding folks of the upcoming chat will be easier going to a weekly format. The termination process reminds me of how folks are reluctant to leave a really good party. But eventually, I say, "Goodnight Paul and good night all; great job; see you next time." And the lights are turned out…but the group glow lingers.
So in closing, go for it. Use these "Top Ten" tips to create your own DC/DC - Digital City/Dynamic Chat Experience. Here's the link again for our Monday night show. <A HREF="aol://4344:363.gorkin.5732839.568857121">Chat with the Stress Doc</A>. To good adventures and, as always…Practice Safe Stress!
Special Announcements:
a) email stressdoc@aol.com if you'd like to subscribe to my new, free newsletter -- Notes From an Online Psychohumorist (TM) b) Leading a "Shrink Rap and Group Chat" for Digital City-Washington, the 2nd and 4th Mondays of every month, 9-10pm EDT. Field questions on stress, relationship issues, school/job problems, career transition, etc. Definitely a lively hour. Here's the link: <A HREF="aol://4344:363.gorkin.5732839.568857121">Chat with the Stress Doc</A> c) Starting a Multi-Media Coaching for Consultants Program, especially (though not exclusively) for allied/mental health professionals, organizational trainers and consultants, counselors and educators. For info on the products and instructional services, including: ** one-on-one online consultation and group chat ** copywriting and humor writing; website design ** bulletin board access... email me at Stress Doc@aol.com
Feedback Segment: How about sharing your thoughts on how you, friends or colleagues use humor in dealing with stress, conflict or moods, yours or others, in your personal life, at home or at work? HFTE will run the best stories and, of course, credit you. <A HREF="http://www.sheltonbbs.com/~bdavis/monkey_flash.gif"> http://www.sheltonbbs.com/~bdavis/monkey_flas...</A>
Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader and author on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. He is also the internet's and the nation's leading "Psychohumorist." The Stress Doc is a columnist for the popular cyber-newsletter, Humor From The Edge -- HUMOR FROM THE EDGE HOME PAGE . Mark is also the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource network, Online Psych -- ONLINE PSYCH: THE STRESS DOC and Financial Services Journal Online. And he is an offline writer for two mental health/substance abuse publications -- Treatment Today and Paradigm Magazine. His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel: A Smart Mouth for Hire! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com, or check out his "Hot Site" website: http://www.stressdoc.com or click STRESS DOC HOMEPAGE. (The site was selected as a USA Today Online "Hot Site" and designated a four-star, top- rated site by Mental Health Net.)