The Stress Doc introduces a reader list on one of his favorite stressbusters - strategic napping. He presents a list of comebacks when the boss catches you and, before that, the Doc also reveals a humorous technique for reenergizing an afternoon audience.

Guerrilla Napping

After a provocative series of articles on sadistic bosses and then sexual threesomes, I definitely needed a rest. And lo and behold, Fabulous M@aol.com, sent a list along that fit perfectly: excuses to give your boss when caught napping.

Now napping's an interesting topic. In fact, for me it's one of three guilty lifestyle pleasures. They are: 1) When I'm in town, not doing an all day workshop, I brake for late afternoon tea and scones at the local tea house. Being home-based, I definitely need to get out of the cave, to change the scene and scenery. Of course, I also do writing there, so it's not just escapist, 2) I haven't had a television since moving to Washington, DC nearly eight years ago; someday I'll write more about the impact of this on my psyche and productivity, and 3) I take a 10-30 minute nap at least once a day. And as I don't use caffeine for that wakeup buzz, napping is more than a luxury. And this is especially important after lunch, not just personally but also in my professional work.

As a speaker and trainer a predictable challenge is reengaging an audience experiencing post-lunch energy dip. Here's my workshop formula:

After asking if anyone's feeling sleepy or drowsy from eating, and receiving an "Amen" chorus, I declare, "Okay, I'm going to revive you all with my homegrown relaxation exercise. Get comfortable, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths." As the room takes on a hushed presence, I instruct the audience to, "extend your arms out in front of you. Now wiggle your fingers; we're connecting to the karmic energy in the universe." (I love seeing adults, arms outstretched, wiggling and twitching like a roomful of praying mantises. Allen Funt, where are you when we need you?) I then instruct the group to chant after me, to chant my personal meditative mantra: "N-A-P, N-A-P." After three repetitions, I forcefully announce, "Okay, now that you've had your power nap, I expect everyone to stay awake and to be alert for the (post-lunch or) second half of the program." Invariably there's a group laugh. We've made the transition and we're off and running.

Well I've been running at the mouth long enough. Here's the strategy, courtesy of greg.culp@Agouron.COM for guerrilla napping in the workplace. Go for it!

Best excuses if you get caught sleeping (usually by your boss) at work:

** "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

** "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last management course you sent me to."

** "I was working smarter, not harder."

** "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper."

** "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

** "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people !"

** "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."

** "I'm in the management training program."

** "Actually, I'm doing a 'Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan' (SLEEP) I learned at the last seminar you made me attend."

** "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"

** "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga or other Eastern spiritual exercises?"

** "Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

** "The coffee machine is broken...."

** "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."

** "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

** "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"

** "I was cross-training for telecommuting. (Next, I watch the Walton's)"

** "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"

** "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."

And the most honest, if not foolhardy...

** "I thought you (boss) were gone for the day."

A daily nap, definitely a great way to...Practice Safe Stress!

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Feedback Segment: How about sharing your thoughts on how you, friends or colleagues use humor in dealing with stress, conflict or moods, yours or others, in your personal life, at home or at work? HFTE will run the best stories and, of course, credit you.