Healing Humor

 A reader (CDeRemer71) forwarded the following "You might be in the medical field, if..." list. At first, I thought CDe might be a medical misfit or into third stage burnout: professional cynicism and callousness. So I shared the list with my Emergency Room Physician friend, Hank. CDe, you get a clean bill of health. Having been vomited on, punched, spat at and shat upon more times than he cares to remember, Hank assured me the list is fairly benign.

 So, for all you members of the medical profession, and for all of us now thankful that we aren't...Enjoy! And thank you CDe. You've graphically earned your official membership in the Stress Doc's StressBuster's Club.

 You might be in the medical field if:

 1) Discussing dismemberment over gourmet meals seems normal to you
 2) Your idea of a good time is a full code at change of shift
 3) You no longer get pissed off when you've been peed on
 4) You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac
 5) Your idea of comforting a child is to place him in a papoose restraint
 6) You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a diagnosis
 7) You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce
 8) You believe CHOCOLATE is a food group (ed. note: and chocolate and mountain dew will get you through the night)
 9) You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet around here"
 10) When you're out in public and you compliment a complete stranger on his great veins
 11) You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "eternal care facility"
 12) Your idea of a really good time is dueling trauma rooms
 13) You don't think a referral to Dr. Kavorkian is inappropriate for this patient
 14) You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "SUICIDE...Getting It Right the First Time"
 15) You have ever had to leave a patient's room before you began laughing uncontrollably
 16) The most commonly uttered phrase on night shift is, "What changed tonight at 0200 that makes it an emergency after 6 months?"
 17) You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis
 18) You believe the waiting room should be supplied with a Valium saltlick
 19) You have ever referred to the ER as a "shit magnet"
 20) When you mention vegetables, you're not referring to the food group
 21) You're totally astounded when someone speaks English
 22) Your patient states, "I have no idea how that got stuck in there"
 23) You can identify the "positive teeth to tattoo" ratio
 24) You have your weekends off marked and planned for one year
 25) You encourage and obnoxious patient to sign out AMA just so you don't have to deal with him anymore

 And just remember...Practice Safe Stress!

 Feedback Segment: How about sharing your thoughts on how you, friends or colleagues use humor in dealing with stress, conflict or moods, yours or others, in your personal life, at home or at work? HFTE will run the best stories and, of course, credit you. (And the real lagniappe, you become a member of the Stress Doc's Stress Buster's Club.) Also, email me to learn more about "The Stress Doc's" serious and humorous on-line support/chat group -- "The Frequent Sighers Club.

 Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader, author and psychohumorist on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com.