To commemorate seasonal liberation and rebirth, the Stress Doc shares two inspiring tales affirming individuality and integrity. Some old world wisdom for a complex modern time.

The Mastery of Jealousy

Once there was a ten year old Jewish boy, Hershel, who lived in the old country with his mother, father and eight year old sister, Sarah. Sarah did better at school than her brother, and Hershel was always picking on his sister. The parents no longer knew what to do.

Hershel's parents finally decided to have a family meeting with the wise old Rabbi. Near the end of the meeting, Hershel, wanting attention, interrupted his sister and declared, "I'm a lefty and lefties are special." The Rabbi studied Hershel, then asked if Hershel would list for homework all the ways he picks on his sister. At the next family gathering, after reading Hershel's extensive list, the Rabbi took the boy aside and said, "Hershel, lefties are different. But do you know which boys are truly special? Those who are ambidextrous." Hershel was confused, and the sage continued. "Hershel, my father was ambidextrous. He wrote with his right hand and played the violin with his left."

The Sage, now, hardly had to ask if Hershel wanted to be ambidextrous. The Rabbi said, "Hershel, it's your tough lefty side that picks on Sarah. How could you be ambidextrous, or do 'right' by your sister?" After some confusion, Hershel asked, "You mean be nice to her?" The Rabbi assured him not every time, but after he acted tough or lefty with Sarah he needed to do the opposite."

After reviewing some right-minded strategies, they agreed to keep their plan a secret. A few days later, Hershel's mother visited the Rabbi and exclaimed, "I don't know what you said to Hershel, but he's sure behaving differently."

In the impasse of jealousy, the Rabbi found Hershel's passion for recognition and mastery. To be ambidextrous - now that was "truly special" and really worth fighting for!

Just remember...Practice Safe Stress!

Birds of a Feather

One day a mother named Sarah brought her eight year old son Joshua to the "The Wise Old Rabbi." Joshua, short and overweight, was being harassed by his classmates. Sarah, overprotective, ordered her son not to fight back and Joshua quietly obeyed. Joshua and Sarah were especially upset when the classmates called him a "big butterball turkey."

After talking with Joshua, the Rabbi asked Sarah about her life. She told him that Joshua's father had died of influenza some years before and, that she, a seamstress, often felt fearful and lonely. Rachel became defensive when telling the Rabbi about a doctor who said she, not Joshua, was the real problem. Sarah made a point of telling the Rabbi that she never returned to the doctor.

The Rabbi knew he would have to make an ally of Sarah to help the family and to avoid the doctor's fate. The old sage, in his wisdom, initially said, "Mother of Joshua. No one knows your child like you. To help him, I need your learned counsel. And you've already given me an idea when you said the boy likes to draw."

The Rabbi instructed Joshua and Sara to draw and sew an overstuffed butterball turkey costume that Joshua would wear at school during the Fall (Halloween- like) festival. Sarah initially objected, believing the students would ridicule her son. She then had to admit this was happening anyway. With encouragement, Joshua also agreed. And after a couple of days in costume, Joshua's classmates were no longer taunting him.

Joshua had wisely faced the birdcalls. By being a "big butterball turkey," Joshua had proved, especially to himself, that he wasn't just a little kosher chicken!

Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the Stress Doc, a psychotherapist and nationally recognized speaker, trainer, consultant and author, is also known as AOL's and the internet's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Check out his USA Today Online "Hot Site" website - www.stressdoc.com  and his page on AOL/Online Psych, Keyword: Stress Doc

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