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The Stress Doc Letter
Cybernotes from the Online Psychohumorist ™


FEB 2006, Sec. I

Fight when you can
Take flight when you must
Flow like a dream
In the Phoenix we trust!

Table of Contents

Section I

Shrink Rap:
a) Video from the Stress Doc's Keynote for the 2005 Fairfax County Government (VA) / Human Resources Conference -- Click here: Media Downloads
b) Best of the Stress Doc Archives:  Selected Writings from 1996-2005
c) Reader Response to My Being Interviewed re: the Postal Violence in Santa Barbara
Work Q & A:   When a Boss Enables Tattling on Employees Everyone Suffers
Readers:        Bedtime Virus, Signs on Synagogue Bulletin Boards
Heads Up:      Estrin Paralegal SuperConference, Booz Allen Hamilton,
                       HHS/Montgomery County, MD

Section II 

Main Essay:    Vital and Creative Functions of Healthy Aggression
Offerings:       Phone Consultation/Coaching, Training/Marketing Kit and Books
 


Overview:  Sec. I

1) Shrink Rap:
a) Click here: Media Downloads or http://www.stressdoc.com/media_downloads.htm
Video from the Stress Doc's Keynote for the 2005 Fairfax County Government (VA) / Human Resources Conference
b) Best of the Stress Doc Archives:  Selected Writings from 1996-2005
c) Reader Response to My Being Interviewed re: the Postal Violence in Santa Barbara
2)  Work Q & A:   Written for WorkforceOnline.com, the Stress Doc suggests strategies to confront a dysfunctional work system whereby a boss is encouraging tattling on employees.
----------------

Overview:  Sec. II

1)  Main Essay:  Vital and Creative Functions of Healthy Aggression.  The Stress Doc turns a power struggle exercise into a treatise on the value of healthy aggression for:  a) survival adaptation, b) affirmation of identity and integrity, c) effective interpersonal engagement, and d) passionate and purposeful flights of exploration and imagination.  Drawing on personal experience and the professional expertise of psychologist and author, Key Redfield Jamison, a case is made for the role of healthy aggression in the paradoxical and painfully productive pairing of purpose and passion, fever and reason.


Shrink Rap

a) Best of the Stress Doc Archives:  Selected Writings from 1996-2005

Stress Doc Article/Essay Archive --  1996-2005

I.  1996-1998 Selected Articles/Essays/Raps

Range of Essay Topics:

 Click here: HFTE or http://www.stressdoc.com/hfte.htm
Click here: Organizational Change Strategies or http://www.stressdoc.com/organizational_change_strategies.htm

[Email for copies of articles/essays without dates; otherwise find the article in Newsletter Archive or http://www.stressdoc.com/news_letter_index.htm]
------------

II.  1998-2005 Selected Articles/Essays/Raps

A.  LOVE
B.  CREATIVITY and HIGH PERFORMANCE/CAREER REJUVENATION
C.  STRESS and CRISIS
D.  DEPRESSION and GRIEF
E.  ORGANIZATIONAL STRESS & TEAM-BUILDING/OD INTERVENTION
F.  MANAGING ANGER:  INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT & VIOLENCE PREVENTION
G.  SPIRITUAL QUEST
H.  HUMOR
--------

A.  LOVE

 February 2003, No 1
Love Online:  Reality vs. Romantasy
----------

April 2003, Sec I
Passionate Prose-Poetry:  Reality vs. Fantasy
-------

February 1999, No. 2
Phobia and "The Intimate FOE":  Part I
Fear of Exposure in the Pursuit of Romantasy
---------

February 1999, No. IV
Codependency, Commitment Phobia and "The Intimate FOE" -- Part II
Creating a Bridge from Romantasy to Reality
---------

December 1999, No. I, Sec. I
Virtuality vs. Reality and the "Call of the Wild"
-------- (link these two)

February 1999, No. II
His Moans, Her Moans, Hormaones
-------

February 2001, No. I
A Stress Doc Valentine
-------

March 2002, No. I, Sec. II
Heartfelt Thoughts on Valentine's Essays
---------

June 1999, No. II
Q & A:  To Fling or Not to Fling?
---------

September 1999, No. I
Q & A:  Sexual Identity, Intimacy and the Ideal: How Come It's Not with "That Man"?
--------

November 1999, No. I, Sec. I
Overcoming Post-Traumatic Burnout After Breaking Up with an Abusive Spouse
--------

Miss Sun and Mr. Moon [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

Kindred Eyes [email stressdoc@aol.com]
 -----------------

B.  CREATIVITY and HIGH PERFORMANCE/CAREER REJUVENATION

 March 2004, No. I, Sec. I
Mastering the Process of Transition-Transformation
--------

When an Email Seems Like a Missile
[email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

August 2003, Secs. I & II
Resilience and the Art of Rejecting Rejection:  Part I & II
--------

December 2004, No. I, Sec. I
Lights, Camera, Action:  Transitioning from the Cave to the Stage
--------

March 2003, Sec. I
Jumping Into a High Stakes Audition:  Part III (stand alone essay)
--------

September 2005, Sec. I
How to Lead Dynamic, Inspiring & Fun "Practice Safe Stress" Workshops
--------

July 2003, Sec. I
Main Essay:  The Definition and Evolution of Professional Wisdom
-------

August 2005, Sec. I
"Why Are Some People So Decisive?"
----------

January 2005, Sec. I & February 2005, Sec. II
When You Love What You Do, They Want to Do What You Love:  Parts I & II
--------

March 2000, No.I, Sec. I
Learning to "Let Go" Not Knowing Where You're Going...Yet Trusting You Will Get There
-------

December 2005, Sec. I
Are You Ready to Declare Your "Emancipation Procrastination?"
--------

May 1998, No. II
The Procrastination Puzzle: To Do, Not to Do or Deep Doodoo
--------

From Emancipation Procrastination to Habit Transformation [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

Laughing in the Face of Layoffs [email stressdoc@aol.com]
---------

July 1998, No. I
Creative "R & R" for Rebuilding Your Career Path
--------

June 1999, No. I
From Technophobia to Cybermania A Cybersaga: On Becoming a Netrepreneur
--------

July 1998, No. I
Creative R & R/Career Path
--------

June 2004, No. I, Sec. I
PODn My Invasion:  Challenging the Prejudices and Practices of the Conventional Publishing/Bookselling World
---------

July 1998, No. I
A Hell of a Proposition:  The Enigmatic Search for a Publisher
---------

May 2004, Sec. I
The Birth and the Path:  The Conjunction of Head, Heart and Healing
Part I (Fifteen year process of becoming an author)
---------

July 2000, No. I, Sec. I
Out of Control: Losing Your Self & Finding Your Soul: Part II
Organizational Perspective – Even the Type A Can Learn to Play
--------

March 1999, No. II
More Tips for Small Business Owners on "Practicing Safe Stress":  Three Keys for Mastering Multiple Demands and the Entrepreneurial Catch-22
--------

March 1999, No. II
Natural SPEED:  Part II
Three Keys for Mastering Multiple Demands and the Entrepreneurial Catch-22
--------

May 2004, Sec. I
Coping With and Planning For Job Uncertainty, Downsizing and/or Reorg Survival
---------

September 2001, No. I
Getting Beyond The Box:  Part I
-------

October 2001, No. I
Getting Beyond the Box:  Part II
--------

February 1999, No. IV
Codependency, Commitment Phobia and "The Intimate FOE" -- Part II
Creating a Bridge from Romantasy to Reality
--------

Van Gogh, Prozac & Creativity [email stressdoc@aol.com]
-------

February 1999, No. I
Readers Respond to Van Gogh Article
----------------------

C.  STRESS and CRISIS

March 2002, No. I
Practice Safe Stress Interview with "The Stress Doc" ™
---------

Natural SPEED [email stressdoc@aol.com]
---------

September 2004, No. I, Sec. II
SPEED Rap
---------

November 2001, No. I
Stress Doc's Top Twelve Smoke Signals
--------

Escaping Black Hole Burnout [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

Rebuilding the Fire [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

Sasscrip (audiotape) [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

January 2004, No. I
A Stress Guide for Overachievers
--------

February 04, No. 1, Sec. I
A Country Under Pressure (Naomi from Israel)
--------

August 2003, Sec. I
The Crisis Sequence Model
--------

Q & A: A Stress Survival Guide for HR Managers/Professionals [email stressdoc@aol.com]
---------

April 2003, Sec. I
The Stress Doc's Tips for Managing Fear in Tension-Filled Times
--------

April, No. I, Sec. II
Safe Stress Tips for the Springtime
--------

April 2002, No. 1
Rebounding from Psychic Regression and Economic Recession
--------

September 2000, No. I, Secs. I & II
Designing a Receptive and Reflective Incubation Vacation: The Stress Doc’s Five Keys
--------

September & October 2004, No. I, Sec. I
Why Is It Hard to "Just Say 'No'"? -- Part I
The Assertive Art of "N & N" - Part II:  How to Say "No and to Negotiate"
---------

December 2005, No. I, Sec. I
Are You Ready to Declare Your "Emancipation Procrastination?"
--------

Emancipation Procrastination [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

August 2000, No. I, Sec. II
Back to "Reality" and "Relaxation":  R & R for Healing Body and Brain Strain
-------

August 2001, No. I
Take a Stress Brake with "The Stress Doc" ™
------

January 2000, No. I
Q & A: Keeping the Stress Monkey In Place
-------

December 1999, No. I, Sec. I
"Frightsizing," Overload and the Real Source of Workplace Anger
--------

February 2000, No. I, Sec. I
Q & A: Full Court Pressure for a Varsity Senior
-------

May 1999, No. II
Q & A:  Married Couple as Business Partners Stress
-------

July 1999, No. I
Q & A:  When a Doctor/Boss Can't Heal Thyself
--------

August 1999, No. II
When Online Fantasy Baseball Is a Real Problem: Confronting the Cyberaddict
--------

August 1999, No. I
Q & A: The Corporate Narcissist: Can You Afford to Keep Him?
--------

Apr 1999, No. I
Q & A:  Promotion and Trial Period Stress
-------

June 1999, No. I
Authorship vs. Ownership over Technical Expertise
--------

Oct 2000, No. I, Sec. I
A Model for Creating Work-Life and Life Work Balance:
Prescriptive Interventions
--------

December 2002, No I, Sec I
Practicing Safe Stress for the Holidays:  The Four "F"s of Holiday Friction
-------

November 2000, No. I, Sec. I
Q & A: Stress Doc & ChickClick.com: Holiday Coping Tips
--------

May 1998, No. I
Guilt Buster
-----------------------

D.  DEPRESSION and GRIEF

Depression Series [email stressdoc@aol.com]
---------

May 2003, Sec. I
A Cruise, "The Blues" and that Mid-life Muse
---------

March 2000, No. I, Sec. I
Q & A: The Biochemical-Psychosexual Revolution
--------

September 2000, No. I, Sec. I
The Illusion of Intimacy: Identity, Continuity and Change
--------

February 2002, No. 1, Sec. I
Anticipatory Grieving:  Lingering Loss and Legacy
-------

October 1999, No. I, Sec. I
Q & A: Grieving the Historic Loss of Nurturing and Impending Death of a Cold, Hurtful Mother
---------

December 1999, No. 1, Sec. I
Daughter's Reflections on the Death of a Father
--------

January 2000, No. I
Twelve Tips for Beating Moderate, Chronic Clinical Depression
-------

April 2000, No. I, Sec. II
Good Grief:  Is It Mourning or Is It Depression? -- Part I
-------

May 2000, No. I, Sec. II
Stressful Contexts for Turning Grief into Depression -- Part II
-------

September 2002, No I, Section II
Survival Tips for the Vulnerable or Depressed Student
--------

January 2000, No. I
Double-Edged Webs of Technology, Depression and Prozac 
-------

January 2000, No. II, Secs. I & II
Listening to Readers on Prozac, Depression & the Medical System
--------

October 2000, No. I, Sec. I
Meds, Moods and Manhood
--------

July 2001, No. I
Recovering from Dot.Bomb Burnout
---------

February 2001, No. I
Building a Bridge Between Grief and Creativity: Five Steps
--------

September 2001, No. I
Laughing in the Face of Layoffs
-----------------------

Double-Edged Depression [Shrink Rap; email stressdoc@aol.com]
---------

E.  ORGANIZATIONAL STRESS & TEAM-BUILDING/OD INTERVENTION

November 2005, No. I, Sec. I
System Dysfunction and Employee Resistance to Change
---------

November 2005, No. I, Sec. II
When an Employee Comes on Too Strong:  Fact or Jealousy?
---------

September 2004, No. I, Sec. I
Thermostatic Leadership
---------

April 2004, No. I, Sec. I
Confronting the Abrupt and Disturbing Loss of a Company Leader
----------

June 2004, No. I, Sec. I
Managing the Belligerent Employee in a Healing Space
---------

March 2004, No. I, Sec. I
When Management Ignores Workplace Threats
----------

June 2003, Sec. I
Designing an OD-Team Building Process: Opportunities and Dangers
----------

July 2003, Sec. I
Organizational Retreating and Risk-Taking
----------

Macro and Micro Strategies for Post-Enron Reorganization [email stressdoc@aol.com]
-------

January 2002, No. I
Practicing Organizational Safe Stress in Trying Times
--------

July 2002, No. I
"Cutting Edge" Strategies for Reorganizing and Downsizing
--------

Lean-and-MEAN Managers [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

May 1999, No. II
From Down and Outraged to Grieving and Growing Up: A Creative Paradigm for Managing Organizational Change Part I
--------

December 1999, No. I, Sec. I
"Frightsizing," Overload and the Real Source of Workplace Anger
--------

February 2002, No. I, Sec. I
Purposeful and Playful Workshop Exercises and Strategies
--------

March 2002, No. I
Developing Dynamic and Fully Functioning Teams
-------

May 2002, No. I
Implementing High Tech and High Touch Teams
-------

June 2002, No. I
Q & A:  Maximizing Benefits of Incentive Travel Programs
--------

Q & A:  Preventing a High Demand Work Environment from Turning into a Burnout Battlefront [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

August 2000, No. I, Sec. I
Q & A:  Managing the Quietly Surly and Passive-Aggressive Employee
--------

May 1999, No. I
Q & A:  The Burnt Out Entrepreneur's Persoanal vs. Family Dilemma:  Damned If You Stay, Damned if You Sell
--------

May 2001, No. I
Q & A:  Professional Office Manager or Dysfunctional Office Mother?
-------

June 2002, No. I
Being the "Token Black" in Corporate America
-------

March 2003, Sec. I
Dealing with a Provocative Employee:  A Young Supervisor's Challenge
-------

December 2003, Sec. I
Trying to Manage the Unmanageable Manager
-------

April 2004, Sec. I
Q & A:  Confronting the Abrupt and Disturbing Loss of a Company Leader
Regenerating Purpose and Passion through Group Grieving
---------

May 2004, Sec. I
Q & A:  When Management Ignores Workplace Threats
-----------------------

F.  MANAGING ANGER:  INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT & VIOLENCE PREVENTION

Four Faces of Anger [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

June 2003, Sec. II
A Profile of the Violence-Prone Personality
--------

Transforming Aggression Series [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

January 2004, No. I, Sec. II & Feb 2004
Disarming a Critical Aggressor:  Parts I & II
Awareness, Assertion and Affirmation Techniques and Strategies
--------

December 2004, No. I, Sec. II
Disarming Critical and Power-Driven Aggressors
---------

December 2003, No. I, Sec. I
Defining Conflict and the "Murray Story"
---------

Listening, Learning and Leading [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

March 1999, No. III
Disarming Aggression and Organizational Power-Struggles:  From the Heart of Team Focus to the Art of "Tongue Fooey"
--------

December 1999, No. I, Sec. I
"Frightsizing," Overload and the Real Source of Workplace Anger
--------

July 2000, No. I, Sec. I
Out of Control: Losing Your Self & Finding Your Soul: Part II
Individual/Family Perspective -- Part I: Can "The Last Angry Man" Last?
--------

April 2002, No. I
Creative Couple/Family Counseling
-------

Apr 1999, No. I
The Wise Old Rabbi:  The Mastery of Jealousy [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

The Wise Old Rabbi:  Birds of a Feather [email stressdoc@aol.com]
---------

December 2002, No I, Sec I
Laundry Wars
--------

June 1998, No. 1
Disarming Humor:  The Fallacy of Sincerity
---------

May 1998, No. I
Guilt Buster
---------

March 2000, No. I, Sec. II
Word to Word Combat at the Book Publishing Battlefront
---------

September 2004, No. I, Sec. I
Thermostatic Leadership
---------

February 2000, No. II, Sec. I
Q & A: Dealing with a "Control Freak" Boss in Times of Rapid Change
--------

June 2000, No. I, Sec. I
Q & A:  Fortifying the Wounded SELF with Hostile Relatives
------

August 2002, No. I
Stress Doc's Tips on Internet Etiquette
 ------------------------

G.  SPIRITUAL QUEST

September 2005, Sec. II
Do You Know What It Means to Miss New Orleans?
--------

April 2004, No. I, Sec. II
"The Passion" of Gibson vs. the Passion of Gorkin
---------

February 2000, No. II, Sec. I
Transcending Habitats, Hemispheres and Hormones
--------

May 1999, No. I
From Human Nature to Mother Nature
--------

July 1999, No. I
Follow the Yellowstone Road Fearful Past, Racing Present and Future Flow
--------

July, 1999, No. II Sec. II
The Mountain Is the Message: Five Commandments for Embracing the Sensual and Exploring the Spiritual
--------

August, 1999, No. I, Sec. II
Readers' Responses to "The Mountain Is the Message
---------

August 1998, No. I
To Sur with Love [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

September 1999, No. I, Sec. I
Following One's Voice, Finding a Homeland
--------

August 1998, No. I & No. II
Finding a Spiritual Homeland:  Parts I & II

Gospel of a Country Road [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

Mountain Vision [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

8 P" Path of Mastery [email stressdoc@aol.com]
---------

H.  HUMOR

February 2003, No I
Stress Doc's ™ Tips for Becoming a Healing Humorist
--------

On Becoming a Psychohumorist [email stressdoc@aol.com]
--------

June 1998, No. I
Disarming Humor:  The Fallacy of Sincerity
-----------------------

b) Reader Response to My Being Interviewed re: the Postal Violence in Santa Barbara

I must say that I'm not at all surprised. Unfortunately, the common response from the USPS headquarters is to blame the employee who committed the murder and suicide, stating that "the person was unbalanced to begin...we are a microcosm of society...blah, blah, blah."
What will it take to get upper management and local management to change? They continue to train managers to "step on necks" and continue to hire managers who either know nothing about the process of mail delivery or who were lousy at the previous job ( such as the worst carriers, who evidently think that everyone has the same mind-set as themselves).
I worked 17 years as a letter carrier under some of the worst torment and harrassment and working conditions...until I attempted suicide. I can now say that getting out of the service has been the best thing I've ever done for myself...like getting out of prison!!! I am now happy and alive and feel like you like a human being again...although, I still have a great deal of anger to work through.
I sincerely wish that I could personally address management to change the way they treat their employees and the ways that they encourage bad behavior amongst employees. They truly don't give a damn about anyone else. Thanks for letting me vent,  jassy11091997@yahoo.com
 


Stress Doc Work Q & A:

When a Boss Enables Tattling on Employees Everyone Suffers
[Written for WorkforceOnline.com]

Q.  Our HRIS Manager (female late 30s, very bright) frequently tattles to our overall boss about peers/associates' perceived gaffes.  The boss (VP HR Director) then counsels the employee or has his Assistant do it.  The only employee she does not tattle on is her only subordinate.  Why dos she do this, what do you see as the ramifications, and what might cause her to change her behavior?  She is really wrecking morale, teamwork and communications in our office.

A.  The scenario seems to come straight out of a family script or elementary school situation.  The HRIS Manager is telling Daddy about how naughty her siblings have been; she comes across as wanting to be "teacher's pet."  Alas, she's more pest than pet.  Even if the HRIS Manager has very high work standards that she feels others are not meeting, the boss is the real problem.

For your first question, why does the HRIS Manager do this, I suspect there are some immature needs for attention and approval, maybe even some sibling rivalry that is being played out.  Unfortunately, the VP HR Director is certainly enabling this "family dysfunction."  Now his motivation is another unanswered question.  One can speculate widely (yet not necessarily wisely) -- from his need to be a father figure, to seeing information as enhancing his sense of power and control, to a possible romantic dalliance.  More tangibly, in addition to a work climate of unfairness and favoritism, this tattling certainly will stir resentment, perhaps evoke some jealousy and as you note will wreck morale, team work and office communications.  Let's concentrate on some specific issues and strategies:

1.  Talk to the Boss.  Even if you think this will go nowhere, I would at least go on record as registering your concern.  Even better would be having two or three employees confirm and detail the negative impact of the HRIS Manager's behavior.  Come with documentation both of her behavior and observable consequences, e.g., time spent by team members venting at lunch, any verbal blowups or testiness observed, etc.  If the boss claims that he likes having a set of work floor eyes and ears, propose having a team meeting to discuss any concerns about individual or departmental performance or team cooperation.  I suspect that if both the boss and the HRIS Manager knew how to run effective team meetings, much of the problems you report would disappear.  Nonetheless, if he dismisses this suggestion or if he labels your complaints as mere jealousy, then it's time for other intervention options.

2.  Talk to the EAP.  If the first option isn't successful or doesn't feel safe, and if you have an Employee Assistance Program, make an appointment and share your concerns as noted above.  This professional can speak with the VP if you give the EAP Counselor permission.  Your meeting is held in strict confidence if you prefer.  This counselor may well be able to get your boss' attention.  He or she may be able to facilitate a team meeting (or bring in a conflict mediator) to get the issues on the table.  Finally, the EAP counselor can go over your boss' head and hopefully get someone higher up the authority chain to get your boss' attention.

3.  Talk to a Colleague of Your Boss.  If you want to try an informal intervention before using the EAP option, try to enlist the support of an executive colleague or friend of your boss.  This person should have your boss' welfare in mind and not be afraid to talk straight with your boss.  Of course, don't trash your boss; mainly express your desire to stop the damage to morale and to rebuild team coordination.

Conclusion

If your boss can see his behavior in a more objective light, and stop encouraging the tattling, then confronting the HRIS Manager's behavior is not a big step.  First the boss needs to talk with the HRIS Manager alone, or perhaps with the EAP counselor as a facilitator.  And a recommendation for EAP counseling for the HRIS Manager may be appropriate.  And depending on how much team damage has been done or how long the dysfunctional operations have been in existence, the facilitator may also want to have brief individual meetings with other team members as part of a venting and debriefing process.  Then there needs to be a group meeting, including the boss, his assistant and HRIS Manager (best held with a trained facilitator), that allows:  a) the group as a whole to vent about the tattling and unfairness issues, b) all parties to express any unfinished emotions in a constructive manner and, then hopefully, c) the healing process, including regular and productive team meetings, to commence.  These meetings need to encourage the open and safe discussion of work problems or interpersonal concerns and to also generate positive problem-solving approaches.

Hopefully these are words and strategies that can rebuild trust and help one and all…Practice Safe Stress!
 


Readers' Submissions:

 Subject:  Bedtime Virus
 From:  PCorell@HOPSTEINER.com

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtime" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 ft. of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers.  This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. ARE YOU LISTENING??
 
It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the
"Bedtimes" message is opened in a Windows 98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a filled bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

*** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of  you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to everyone!!! THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!

Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!
-------------

Subj:  Signs on Synagogue Bulletin Boards
From: MDodick

Under same management for over 5765 years.

Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case.

What part of "Thou shalt not" don't you understand?

Shul committees should be made up of three members, two of whom should be absent at every meeting.

Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew  University:  "The future of the Jewish people is in your hands."

Any time a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

It was mealtime during a flight on El-Al. "Would you like dinner?," the flight attendant asked Moshe, seated in  front. "What are my choices?," Moshe asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and is brought to the local hospital.
A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, "Mr. Gevarter, are you comfortable?" Gevarter replies, "I make a living...."

A rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of  paper from an envelope he found written on it only one  word:  "shmuck." At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced,"I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to  sign their names, but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name.... and forgot to write a letter.

Three Jewish women get together for  lunch. As they are being seated in the restaurant, one takes a deep breath and gives a long, slow "oy."  The second takes a deep breath as well and lets out a long, slow "oy." The third takes a deep breath and says impatiently, "Girls, I thought we agreed that we weren't going to talk about our children."

And one final  favorite!  A waiter comes over to a table full of Jewish women and asks, "Is anything all right?"
 


Heads Up:

1. Estrin Paralegl SuperConference; Salt lake City; Kickoff:  Managing Anger and Difficult People
2. Booz Allen Hamilton, Washington; 2-Hour Managing Stress & Building Team Morale through Humor
3.  Health and Human Services/Montgomery County, MD; 3-Hour Managing Stress and Conflict and Building Team Cooperation through Humor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark Gorkin, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, is a psychotherapist and "Motivational Humorist" whose Interactive Keynotes and Kickoffs draw wide and "amazing" acclaim - from Fortune 100s and Federal Agencies to around the world with Celebrity Cruise Lines.   An OD/Team Building Consultant, Mark is the author of Practice Safe Stress:  Healing and Laughing in the Face of Stress, Burnout & Depression and of The Four Faces of Anger: Transforming Anger, Rage, and Conflict Into Inspiring Attitude and Behavior.  Also, the Doc is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™ running his weekly "Shrink Rap ™ and Group Chat."  See his award winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com (cited as a workplace resource by National Public Radio (NPR).  Finally, Mark is an advisor to The Bright Side ™ -- www.the-bright-side.org -- a multi-award winning mental health resource.  Email for his monthly newsletter showcased on List-a-Day.com.  For more info on the Doc's speaking and training programs and products, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-946-0865.

(c)  Mark Gorkin  2006
Shrink Rap Productions