The Stress Doc Letter
Cybernotes from the Online Psychohumorist

JULY 2006, Sec. II
Main Essay
[Due to its length, the complete essay is an attachment.]
A word association exercise used in a workshop on "Getting a New Hip
Replacement" has the Stress Doc reflecting on the power of oppositional or
contradictory thinking. Seven "cognitive, cool and creative" dynamics are
examined, including how reconciling or integrating opposition becomes a tool for
challenging habits and assumptions, taking on "sacred cows", making fine
discriminations as well as generating imaginative perspective and innovative
problem-solving.
Why Being Contrary May
Be Cognitive, Cool and Creative:
Seven
Oppositional Dynamics for Being Hip
Last month was the culmination of a three-part series at the Holiday Park
Multi-Purpose Senior Center. The Center, run by Montgomery County, Maryland,
sponsors a variety activities - lectures and classes, daytrips and concerts, as
well as daily lunches. In fact, my one-hour program was the after lunch "fast
food for thought." The series participants were gender-mixed; most in the 50s
to 70s age range. (Many were retirees from the federal government -- from
scientists to secretaries.)
The first program dealt with identifying and managing senior stressors. The
second focused on family tension and conflict - from grieving the loss of a
spouse to bickering or battling with friends, children and other relatives. The
final workshop explored ways to add vitality and renewed purpose to being a
senior and to retirement living: challenging your mind and freeing up your
emotions; becoming more comfortable taking calculated risks; exploring new
hobbies, or engaging in desired activities in light of medical concerns. And
finally, how do you sustain or develop supportive social relations for this new
lifestyle?
The title of the program: "Are You Ready for a New Kind of Hip Replacement?" I
may have been too clever by half: a number of center members assumed I was an
orthopedic maven. For the future, I'm leaning toward a subtitle of "Cool and
Comfy, Contrary and Creative: On Becoming a Four 'C'-ing Senior." (Ahh, once a
word artist…)
However, the meaning became quite evident when I asked participants, "What makes
someone hip?" Now an array of descriptors poured forth: "current, daring
controversial, confident in one's skin, innovative or trend setter, irreverent,
self-expressive, genuine, stylish, independent thinker, etc." And examples from
these seniors ranged from the serious and sublime to the sensual and silly -
engaging in street-type political protest to dressing boldly and dancing
provocatively (i.e., being "out of character") at a cruise ship party. (I
didn't ask how much alcohol might have been at play.) Costuming came up several
times in the hip examples. Perhaps this indicates that people believe they must
be out of their normal, day-to-day self in order to be cool or controversial.
After sharing this observation with the group I then laid out my intention: to
outline some (non-fat) hip building skills and strategies. For me, hipness is
less something dictated by external circumstances and more something that you
evolve and carry around in your head and heart. And it is expressed or put into
action through an array of choices and played out in a variety of social
engagements or settings.
Actually, being hip reminds me of a quote on creativity by the Hungarian Nobel
Prize-winning scientist, Albert Szent-Gyorgi. It goes something like this:
Creativity is seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking what nobody else
has thought. And while this may be a bit singular or extreme, clearly, hipness
is an uncommon lens or framework for viewing and designing one's self and one's
world.
A Challenging Thinking Exercise
So how can you develop a perspective or path that reflects your individuality,
often challenges or pokes playfully at the conventional while encouraging fresh,
out of the box and, even, provocative vision, thought and expression? I believe
an interactive workshop exercise based on an academic research project may
illuminate a key cognitive-psychological component of being hip. And it's a
dynamic that is also connected to creative perspective.
Let me outline the nature of the study, the workshop exercise steps and then its
modus operandi. Dr. Albert Rothenberg, a Yale cognitive psychologist and
psychiatrist, paired a word association test and a creative personality
inventory to assess whether there is a correlation between high scores on the
personality measure and ways of free-associating to a list of words. I have
modified and simplified his study in this manner. One at a time, I read off ten
common words ("warm," "tiny," "dry," etc.) asking audience members to first copy
the word and then to write their immediate association. (I usually have the
words up on a screen.) I then ask people to evaluate their responses based on
three broad categories: was their word a "synonym" (or similar to the word I
read), a "personal or unique" response (e.g., associating the word "cat" to the
word "warm" because you feel your cat's warmth when you snuggle), or an
"antonym" (or opposite association)? After each person categorizes their
response list I have them break up into small groups and share and discuss their
word choices. By a show of hands, I determine the numbers comprising the
response categories. Synonyms and unique/personal responses are fairly even in
count; these two usually account for 90% or more of the total category
responses. (I may playfully comment: "Guess, we've identified the deviants in
the room.")
However, I still have not shared the true purpose of the exercise. After, a few
minutes of group sharing, I then discuss Dr. Rothenberg's interest in the way
creative personalities free-associate eventually asking the group which category
they believe correlates most closely with creative personality measure. (I also
reassure everyone, "that this is only one crude measurement. And that if we
used other measures I'm sure all would score above average on a creativity
scale.") Perhaps seeing the sharp contrast in numbers between the opposite
responders and the other two categories enables people to call out "antonyms" as
the creative category.
So what specifically makes oppositional association or simultaneous
contradictory thinking such a powerful tool for imaginatively breaking out of a
mental and operational box? Consider the "Seven Purposeful, Passionate and
Playful Dynamics of Contrarily Hip and Creative Thinking":
1. Question the Conventional or Expressively Disrupt the Commonplace or Status
Quo.
Oppositional thinking often takes on tired and true assumptions and mindless
habits. It often challenges authority or “the way it’s always been” tradition.
And the more high-minded the principle or inflated the ego, the greater the
incentive to skewer the rigid and/or self-righteous. Perhaps von Oech, in his
book, Whack on the Side of the Head, said it best (or, at least, came up
with a hipster mantra): “Sacred cows make great steaks.” (Though this mantra
may not go down easily with those hip vegans.)
In addition to
challenging authority and convention, creative and hip people often need to
express their genuine individuality. Their desire goes beyond just a need to be
contrary or different. These individuals need to hear and are not afraid to
follow the beat of their uncommon inner drummer. In fact, Edvard Munch, the
great 19th century Norwegian painter, best known for his famous work,
“The Scream,” claimed that his anxieties and neuroses actually gave him
direction and a sense of purpose. Without his inner demons he would have been
lost.
2. See
Spatial-Psychological Relationships, Including Both Sides to Achieve Multiple
and/or Mature Perspective.
By definition, oppositional thinking means you are aware of some existing
premise or position and that you are thinking in comparative and contrasting
terms. For example, free-associating on a word test with an opposite term means
you are not just reacting subjectively or spontaneously. Actually, you are
anchoring both words in some kind of cognitive, psychological and/or
spatial-temporal relationship, e.g., above-below, before-after, front-back,
etc. I bet you’ve encountered a pairing of emotional and behavioral opposites
that provides an evocative description for a behavior that can be maddening:
“passive-aggressive.”
While an issue
may seem “black or white” or “good vs. evil,” juxtaposing opposites provides
opportunity for transcending “all or none” and “right vs. wrong” thinking. Do
you know any “arrogant altruists”? For example, a person may be simultaneously
driven by both selfish and selfless motives. A person may understand that wise
stress management maxim of, “Giving of yourself and giving to yourself.” (As
someone who I can’t recall noted, character is developed through social
interaction, integrity through solitary pursuit.)
An ability to
see both sides of an issue, to be able to look beyond your own needs,
preferences and biases, to acknowledge if not embrace even an antagonist’s
position, often enhances or perhaps defines your capacity for empathy. Being
able to walk a mile in an opponent’s shoes is often a sign of emotional
intelligence or an excellent EI building activity. (Maybe physical
intelligence/empathy as well if you can also relate to their bunions.)
Of course, a
lack of empathy can also be exposed and lampooned. For example, I recall an old
New Yorker cartoon that deftly and delightfully transcended overly
righteous or rigid self-importance with a hip skewering of the same. A nattily
attired, pompous looking publisher standing behind his power desk begins to
chastise a humbly dressed, hat in hand Charles Dickens: "Really, Mr.
Dickens…was it the best of times or was it the worst of times? It could
scarcely have been both!"
In addition,
using a double-edged, seemingly contradictory perspective not only works when
engaging self-centered and one-dimensional antagonists. Such a mindset can even
enrich a warm fuzzy concept with near universal appeal – TLC. Using a seemingly
oppositional framework, TLC now may have an even more motivational utility and
value: “Tender Loving Criticism” and “Tough Loving Care.”
Actually, for
the acclaimed 20th century novelist, F. Scott Fitzgerald, breaking through such
“black or white” barriers was a sign of real cognitive maturity and
proficiency: “The test of a first rate intellect is the capacity to hold two
opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to
function. For example one should see things as hopeless yet be determined to
make them otherwise.” And such cognitive agility further helps develop
flexibility, complexity and hipness.
3. Generate a
Broader and Deeper, a More Novel and Complex Perspective.
As a way of delving into this enriched oppositional perspective, let me ask a
couple of questions: Are you a beach person or a mountain person? Do you often
engage with emotional memories from the past or frequently draw on past
experience and historical perspective to enrich current understanding or do you
only live for the present? Perhaps you frequently escape via futuristic
reverie? While I don’t have conclusive evidence, I suspect hip or
creative-types tend to live in multiple worlds. To draw on an observation by
acclaimed 20th century English author, John Fowles (The Collector,
The Magus, The French Lieutenant’s Woman, etc.), as a writer the past is his
electric current; he needs to be plugged into this power source. Personally, I
must grapple with painful memories to be truly myself and true to myself.
Facing and feeling the breadth and depth of my past means living more fully in
the present and planning more fearlessly for the future.
Actually,
oppositional thinking and doing is at the essence of my personal and
professional being. This mindset certainly has challenged me to expand my
career roles and professional skillsets. My seemingly contradictory framework
is composed of two seemingly distinct personae: 1) a more quiet, reflective and
introverted “Cave Persona” and 2) a more extroverted, outgoing, charming and
dynamic, if not a tad manic, “Stage Persona.” And these cage and stage
temperaments certainly both reflect and predispose me toward two different role-skillsets:
a.
Clinician/Author – these roles reflects my interest in and need to explore
the serious, emotionally poignant and dark sides of human nature; and believe me
the need to explore begins at home. Both focused, sequential and analytical
listening as well as well as soft, intuitive and empathic listening along with
probing and reflective questioning are vital aspects of the roles of therapist
and writer. Of course, listening to one’s own inner voice or soul is critical
and foundational, and
b. Public
Speaker/Performer – this role allows me to be a bit larger than life – I can
be silly, theatrical and outrageous. I often channel aggressive energy into
playfully biting humor or dramatic expression; irreverent wit may turn into
light-hearted messages of enlightenment. And while noted above as a “cave”
persona role, interestingly, at times, my writing draws on both skillsets.
While there’s an obvious quiet and reflective side essential to creative
writing, yet it frequently involves tapping into aggressive and whimsically
empathic energy, especially when attempting to turn wit into wisdom. I’m
reminded of the title of a drive time “Stress Brake” radio essay on burnout:
“Breaking Out of a Hell of a Shell or Don’t Feel Too Sorry for Humpty Dumpty He
Needed to Hit Bottom.”
So having two
sharply distinguished personae and role sets provides opportunity to integrate
these seemingly contradictory states into an uncommonly rich synthesis. For
example, speaking programs convey both an insightful depth and generate
childlike exuberance. In fact, I had to invent (and trademark) a term to
capture the double-edged, yin- and yang-like complexity of my professional
identity – “Psychohumorist” ™. (Of course, I let my audience decide where the
emphasis on this word should go!)
And this
double-edged yet integrative nature and expression not only yields an unusual
blend of substance and style; it also produces an uncommon impact on others:
“You really love what you do” and “You have great energy” are common
post-performance observations from audience members. And they are right. But
why is this so? Certainly I love the spotlight and the attention. You may know
that familiar aphorism: “Vanity thy name is Gorkin!” Hey my public persona
mantra: “To get so much exposure that I’m finally arrested for indecency!”
And while the
above has some truth (maybe even more than I want to fully admit), there’s
another reason for my exuberance and energy: being on stage allows me to draw
on and release my fullest self – from the emotionally sensitive and reflective
thinker, writer and therapist to the aggressive, irreverent and outrageous
performer. I also have biochemical license to cycle a bit manic and
melancholy. Actually, I have license to break out of traditional or
“appropriate” categories. I have license to project a deeper and broader, a
more complex and creative, more cool or hip perspective and persona.
4.
Perceive Shades of Gray.
If you can see a connection between black and white, perhaps you can even see
these two hues yielding a mix of gray. Or perhaps you can envision partly
overlapping black and white circles (a Venn Diagram) so that now there’s a
section of gray sandwiched between black and white crescent-shaped moons. (An
ex-teacher provided an illustration of how she used Venn Diagrams to help her
third graders understand comparison and contrast. She had them draw two separate
circles, one with the traits and characteristics of dogs and the other with the
traits and characteristics of cats. She then had them overlap the circles where
the household pets displayed common qualities while the separate parts of the
circles contained their differing natures.)
This
visualization can help illuminate how the color gray or, for example, consensus
forged from contradictory positions, is a product of creating common ground or
overlapping space between oppositional black and white positions or figures. Or
in political terms, with our current Red State vs. Blue State dichotomy,
Independent Voters may one day forge a Purple Party or, depending on the issue,
may display shades of purple while still having basic blue or red sentiment.
But perhaps
the best way of generating a sense of gradation is through polar opposites
tension depicted as end points of a spectrum. For example, think of the color
spectrum – red gradually shading into purple, purple shading into blue, etc. Or
consider the flexible and optimal tension of a violin string that allows for a
maximal variety and quality of tone and pitch. So instead of black or white,
all or none, right or wrong, high or low dichotomy, you can operate with
fractions and make subtle differentiations and discriminations. You are not
just cold and hot (unless, like my good lady friend, you are subjected to one of
those hot flashes), but experience degrees or shades of warmth or coolness.
Speaking of
heat, an inverse illustration comes to mind based on the relative absence of
discriminatory capacity. Since his two strokes, my father feels cold unless the
ambient temperature is about eighty. His body temperature and comfort level
leaves little room for flexible adjustment or adaptation to a room with even a
hint of coolness. (The impact of his body temperature reactivity on marital
adjustment can be a subject for a whole other article.)
Finally,
being able to flexibly view points of overlap, to make fine distinctions, to
conjure a gradient of gray shades rather than a black versus white perspective
means you can place ideas and actions in a variety of contexts. For example you
can understand how a mix of interpersonal and environmental factors and
historical experience along with biological-psychological temperaments and
socio-cultural norms and values usually impact or motivate individual behavior.
Attributional Bias: Black
vs. White Perception
By way of
illustration, let me introduce a robust perceptual framework from the field of
social psychology called Attribution Theory. Attribution Theory is concerned
with how an observer, Person A, explains the behavior of another, Person B.
What factors does Person A consider in making judgments about Person B’s
capacities, talents, motivational state or environmental constraints or
supports? Alas, all or none bias is not uncommon. For example, does Person A
make personal or “dispositional” attributions separate from environmental or
“situational” attributions when trying to explain his or her colleague’s
behavior? Let me illustrate. Research has shown that when explaining, for
example, the behavior of coming to work late, subjects often make a glaring
distinction. An individual tends to explain a colleague’s lateness due to
laziness or general disorganization (i.e., with a personal attribution).
However, when explaining our own tardy behavior we tend to carefully itemize the
external factors – traffic bottlenecks, getting kids to daycare, etc.
For me, this
kind of “attributional bias” doesn’t just reveal deficient Emotional
Intelligence…it’s also not very sophisticated or cool. If being hip means
seeing and thinking in uncommon and individualistic ways, then seeing shades of
gray or perceiving both personal and situational motivational dynamics is
critical to avoiding a black and white, one-dimensional mode of understanding
and judging. To turn Nietzchean for a moment, free thinking means going beyond
the labeling box of “good vs. evil.” And with this liberating awareness just
think of the possibilities…You many never again have to just say, “Have a nice
day.” I like “Have an oxymoronic day” or “”Have a complex or an ambiguous one.”
5.
Stimulate Creative Confusion.
Frequently, it’s not an easy task relating and reconciling opposition. Finding
common ground or perceiving analogous properties or similarities between things
seemingly unlike may take a keen or clever mind. In fact, according to renowned
author and humorist, Mark Twain, this cognitive agility is the essence of
“wit”: the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not
perceived to have any relation.
With Twain’s
definition in mind, what I’m about to say may seem counterintuitive: “Ahas!”
don’t just happen. Akin to their human counterparts, conceptual opposites may
attract but they don’t necessarily make cool or creative connections…at least
not without some back and forth if not stormy interrelating. Grappling with
contradiction often generates an initial conceptual mind field of uncertainty,
confusion and frustration. The psychiatrist, Richard Rabkin, called this state
“thrustration.”
Continuing
with our conjugal or at least human relational metaphor, I’ve defined
“thrustration” as being torn between thrusting ahead with direct action and
frustration, as you have not been able to put together all the pieces of the
puzzle. And, at this point, it’s best to stop trying to willpower a solution or
conceptual connection. Take a time out; distract your conscious mind by walking
in a forest, hitting a tennis ball or taking a bike ride or a nap. In other
words, take an “incubation vacation” to hatch the new, the unexpected and the
hip, that is, that “Aha!” perspective.
A Catalyst for Reflection and Persuasion
Another 19th
century man of letters, the philosopher and educator, John Dewey, captured the
fertile ground possibility in conflict and contradiction: Conflict is the
gadfly of thought. It stirs us to observation and memory. It shocks us out of
sheep-like passivity. It instigates to invention and sets us at noting and
contriving. Conflict is the sine qua non of reflection and ingenuity.
Sounds pretty cool to me!
Finally,
there’s a power negotiation tactic worth noting when dealing with someone
opposed to your premise. Present your viewpoint and then encourage your
antagonist to challenge your position. This may have a counterintuitive effect;
you may be inducing some confusion and subsequent openness. That is, since
arguments are often less about facts and figures and more about the actual or
perceived status of the individuals in the relationship, when you accept such a
challenge or rebuttal you are helping the other party feel less subservient and
more in control. And, lo and behold, once having exercised the freedom to
disagree or criticize, the antagonist may just become more predisposed to
acknowledge the value of your argument, if not adopt your original contrary
position.
This
negotiation dynamic even can work with that frustrating, often
passive-aggressive “stress carrier”…the “Yes, butter.” As I like to say:
If you can
get a person who says, “Yes, but”
To openly rebut
Even if they may be a pain in the…
You can often get them to say, “But, yes!”
6.
Reveals a Paradoxical or Higher Truth.
If being hip
or clever often involves the capacity for irreverence and insight, then I have
one pithy example – a witticism that reconciles seeming contradiction and
reveals a truth about the vagaries of human nature. It’s my classic and hip
holiday joke, and it’s a tool for preserving your sanity during the gathering of
the tribe. Basically you need to understand the difference between “holiday
blues” and “holiday stress.” Now “holiday blues” is the feeling of loss or
sadness that you have when, for whatever reason, over the holidays you cannot be
with those people who have been or are special or significant. And “holiday
stress”…is when you have to be with some of those people! We all can relate and
knowingly share a laugh. Once again, grappling with seemingly contradictory
tendencies actually reveals an aspect of your nature and, more broadly, of human
nature.
Or consider
this perceptive observation of human need and motivation by the pioneering film
genius, Charlie Chaplin: A paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it
is precisely the tragic which arouses the funny. We have to laugh due to our
helplessness in the face of natural forces and in order not to go crazy.
Yin and Yang: Symbol of Synthesis
Grappling with
opposition was essential to the theorizing of the renowned 19th
century German philosopher, Friederich Hegel. Hegel posited that a starting
point or position – a “Thesis” – when contrasted with its opposite – an
“Antithesis” – can generate sufficient tension to yield a higher order concept
or integrative “Synthesis.” One way of literally envisioning higher order
synthesis is through the Eastern integrative symbol of dynamic holism –
Yin/Yang. Yin has been described as representing receptive or devoted
(sometimes called female) energy while Yang typically represents active or
potent (male) energy. (Although, I’m involved with an AARP card-carrying woman
who definitely belies this traditional categorization.) And usually this higher
order synthesis is achieved by depicting these energies as two separate,
mercurial, squash-like figures, one dark, one light, flowing into each other to
form a unified whole. And within each of these parts of a whole lies a dot –
black in the white yin segment, white in the dark yang segment. The dot is not
unlike a contrasting seed in a womb. The placement of these oppositional dots
reveals the paradoxical truth that the seed in the Yang configuration is the
genesis of Yin energy while the Yin seed nurtures Yang potentiality. (One quick
example comes to mind: how a healthy fight that affirms both parties and clears
the air may turn partners into ardent lovers.)
This notion of
one form of energy or nature being the precursor of its seeming antithesis also
reminds me of two poetic “grief and rebirth” insights penned years ago:
For
the Phoenix to rise from the ashes
One must know the pain
To transform the fire to burning desire!
And,
Whether the loss is a key
person, a desired position or a powerful illusion each deserves the respect of a
mourning. The pit in the stomach, the clenched fists and quivering jaw, the
anguished sobs prove catalytic in time. In mystical fashion, like Spring upon
Winter, the seeds of dissolution bear fruitful renewal.
These two “one
must die to be reborn” quotes combined with the insights found in the “holiday
blues” joke and Chaplin’s prescient pairing of comedy and tragedy lead us to a
fundamental aspect of being hip and a key component of the creative process: an
ability to cry and laugh, to “let go” (even of the loved object or idea) and to
grapple with our fears as necessary conditions for exploring anew.
Having focused
on grieving, let’s appropriately close with two pithy quotes on laughter, quotes
that reveal, actually, the interrelationship between fear and laughter,
competence and courage. The first if from psychiatrist, Ernst Kris: “What was
once feared and is now mastered is laughed at.”
The second is
the Stress Doc’s inversion of the first: “What was once feared and is now
laughed at is no longer a master.”
And our final
strategic segment will further examine this capacity for being bold and brazen.
7.
Encourage Daring and Defiance.
Clearly, with
an oppositional predisposition to question the conventional, self-righteous or
status quo and/or armed with a “higher truth” you are often ready to embark on a
path that may be grand or grandiose (or maybe both. Hopefully, yours is a
non-fundamentalist or fanatical truth.) Seeing what others can’t or won’t see,
perceiving more sides, subtleties or possibilities to a thorny issue has the
potential for generating uncommon vision and vistas and fresh pathways and
processes.
Of course, to
see and think anew not only means getting out of the box; sometimes the box may
have to be knocked down or blown up. As one of the giants of 20th
century art, Pablo Picasso (a man of many, and not always endearing, paradoxical
qualities) observed: Every act of creation is first of all an act of
destruction. (Here’s where fanaticism can be quite problematic: When your
goal is to create an absolutely pure or “righteous” society, then if you are not
with us you are “unpatriotic.” Or another is sinful ways must be shamed and
condemned, and sometimes the sinner must be exterminated.
Picasso also
proposed another paradoxical epiphany: Art is the lie that reveals a greater
truth!
What
does he mean by these observations? And what is the connection between daring
and defiance and being creative, conscious and current? And how may this path
reveal a wise or compassionate “higher or greater truth?”
First, why
might conceptual or symbolic (though sometimes literal) destruction be a
necessary catalyst for generating novel or innovative perspective, process or
plan? In my mind, you often have to break habit chains or “less tried and just
accepted as true” assumptions in order to see, think and design in a novel or
fresh way. And while the tearing down, explosion or breaking apart process may
be painful, it paves the way for two essentials for creative exploration: 1) it
clears the familiar playing field; you have a new (or mostly clean) canvas to
work with and 2) it often induces a state of uncertainty and confusion which may
drive you to perceive and build fresh or unexpected, perhaps even fantastic
(i.e., the exaggerated lie begetting truth) connections or relationships among
the ideas and/or elements in your problem-solving field.
Designing Team Energy and Synergy
Let me
illustrate these two both these paradoxes – destruction for creation, lie for
truth – by sketching my signature “psychohumorist” ™, “team discussion and team
drawing” speaking or workshop program exercise. Participants are divided into
small groups (4-6 people/group). They are given about ten minutes to identify
sources workplace stress and conflict. That’s the easy part. Then in the same
amount of time, the group must produce a team picture that captures the
individual stress perspectives. Invariably, a number of the participants
experience some confusion, if not anxiety, at the prospect of transforming
individual perspective into collective visualization. But once the group
realizes they have to discard or replace linear and logical thinking for visual
metaphor and holistic figure-ground story telling through pictures, suddenly the
conceptual and operational fog lifts…And creative energy and laughter erupts.
Here’s one of
my favorite designs. The audience was comprised of NASA and Lockheed Martin
supervisors and managers. There definitely was a preponderance of analytical,
left-brained individuals. There was considerable workplace anxiety; news of
budget cuts and personnel reorganization was in the air. One picture (done on
full-size flipchart paper with broad-tipped colored markers) was a classic. On
a cliff is a devil-like figure, with pointy ears and a long tail, with a trident
in one hand, a whip in the other. The executive/devil is driving this flock of
sheep to the cliff’s edge and beyond. Actually, the sheep have only one
option: jumping off the cliff. And the safety net below has gaping holes.
While the content is an exaggeration, you can’t miss the emotional message. And
did you note the oppositional pairing of the devil and the sheep?
After another
workshop, I recall a CEO observing, “I get written reports all the time. But
these drawings give me a clearer sense of what’s really going on in the
trenches.” Perhaps a vivid picture that provides a wide perspective can induce
a “higher truth.”
Which brings
us to the second Picasso Paradox: As the devil vs. sheep picture illustrates
art may create exaggerations and even absurd illusions. Art may also heighten
emotional identification by placing oppositional tension in a familiar and/or
novel or surprising psychological and situational context. The viewer sees
images and ideas from a new perspective or through a new framework. Artful
opposition can readily bring to the surface and into focus the psychic
underground. Art may well reveal or clarify a higher, wider and/or deeper as
well as more daring emotional truth.
Closing Summary
Using being hip
as a launching pad, this article has highlighted “Seven Hip and Creative
Purposes and Payoffs of Oppositional Thinking”:
1. Question the
Conventional or Expressively Disrupt the Commonplace or Status Quo
2. See Spatial-Psychological
Relationships, Including Both Sides to Achieve Multiple or Mature Perspective
3. Generate a
Broader and Deeper, a More Novel and Complex Perspective
4. Perceive
Shades of Gray
5. Stimulate
Creative Confusion
6. Reveal a
Paradoxical or Higher Truth
7. Encourage
Daring and Defiance
Learning to
think in oppositional categories, to see multiple facets and to integrate
contradiction and seemingly scattered ideas and elements is a powerful tool for
challenging habits and assumptions, taking on “sacred cows,” and perceiving and
conceptualizing with real imagination and boldness. It’s a
psycho-spatial-relational framework for exploring, realizing and expressing your
fullest self. Oppositional processing is a vital pathway to being cool and
creative and perhaps equally important it’s your passport for learning how to…Practice
Safe Stress!

Offerings:
1. Consultation-Counseling-Coaching Service from the Stress Doc ™
Expansion of Service: In-Office, Phone or Online
The Doc's areas of expertise as a consultant, counselor and speaker include:
+ Stress and Burnout and Rebuilding the Fire
+ Anger Management and Managing Difficult People
+ Growing from Loss, Grief and Depression
+ Couple Counseling and Family Issues
+ Career/Life/Relationship Transition
+ Conflict Resolution and Team Building
+ Executive and Management Coaching
+ Organizational Downsizing and Change
+ Time Management and Personal Organization
+ Motivation and High Performance/Anxiety Issues
Flexibility in length and availability for coaching-consultation sessions; day
and evening times. Fee to be determined during the first contact/consultation.
The first phone or online contact/consultation (up to 15 minutes) is free.
For more information, call 301-946-0865 or email stressdoc@aol.com.
Organizational Clients have included:
Corporations: Dupont Corporation, SAP--Human Capital Forum/ASUGS, Celebrity
Cruise Lines, America Online, Kelley School of Business/Indiana University, Day
and Zimmerman, Tellabs, Computer Sciences Corporation, SkyLink: The Airline
Ticket Center, Biography Magazine, US Pharmacopeia, Skadden Arps (Intl law
Firm), Patton Boggs (Intl Law Firm), LTS, Blackbaud, Georgetown University,
Shrader Funeral Home
Associations/Conferences: CONEXPO-CON/AGG--2005, Intl. Personnel Management
Assn. (IPMA)--2005, Human Resources Association--Natl. Capital Area, Society of
Human Resource Management, National Society of Professional Engineers, Business
Owners and Managers Assn Intl, Airplane Owners and Pilots Association,
Association of Legal Administrators, National Association of Insurance &
Financial Advisors, American College of Physicians, National Wildlife
Federation, Defense Research Institute, American Industrial Hygiene Association
Government Agencies: Australian Embassy, Centers for Disease Control, Health &
Human Services--Div. of Acquisition Management, DOD/Population Health and Health
Promotion, Department of Justice, National Institutes of Health, National
Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration (including National Weather
Service), Army Corps of Engineers, Naval Reserch Lab, Naval Sea Systems Command,
Department of Commerce, US Postal Service, Fairfax County Govt., Suffolk, VA
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2. Stress Doc Books:
Pay by Pay Pal from website - www.stressdoc.com or
Make check to: Mark Gorkin
Send to:
9629 Elrod Road
Kensington, MD 20895
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a) Really Hot: The Paperback Version of Practice Safe Stress:
Practicing Safe Stress: Healing and Laughing in the Face of Stress, Burnout, &
Depression; Stress Doc Enterprises
Published: 2004; Pages: 372
Price: $20 + $5.00 priority shipping in US; $7 for shipping in Mexico and
Canada; other international destinations to be determined
E-book Price: $15
Practice Safe Stress tackles the "Toxic-Traumatic Trio" -- stress, burnout, and
depression. Learn practical and playful, inspiring and insightful strategies
for transforming these toxins into life-affirming energy, creative focus, and
goal-achievement. Bringing a personal, professional, and organizational
perspective, the book is alive with imaginative language and memorable "how to"
ideas for:
§ Understanding the "Four Stages of Burnout," the "Erosive Spiral"
§ Rebuilding your fire and developing "Natural SPEED"
§ Achieving liberation through "Emancipation Procrastination"
§ Reducing conflict as a healing or motivational "psychohumorist" ™
There are satirical essays on "lean-and-MEAN" managers and on mismanaged
downsizings. Learn to "laugh in the face of layoffs" and ponder the possibility
of "Van Gogh, Prozac, and Creativity." The Stress Doc also shares his his own
trials, errors, and triumphs in battling the "Toxic Trio."
Safe Stress provides many discrete "Top Ten" lists and "strategic tips" essays
useful as educational/informational handouts. To quote the Internet Newsroom:
Your Guide to the World of Electronic Factgathering: "The most outstanding
feature…is his 'psychohumor' essays. Always witty, thought-provoking, and
helpful." With this easy-to-follow, fast-paced, and fun health and wellness
guide, you'll return often to Practice Safe Stress.
----------------------
b) The Four Faces of Anger: Model and Method
Transforming Anger, Rage and Conflict Into Inspiring Attitude and Behavior
The "Four Faces of Anger" presents an elegantly simple yet intellectually
powerful model that will challenge your beliefs about anger -- both regarding
its range of emotion and its potential for positive communication. The book is
a dynamic blend of popular psychohumor articles, essays, case examples and short
vignettes, as well as Stress Doc Q & As and even "Shrink Rap" ™ lyrics. You
will gain ideas and tools, skills and techniques for personal control, playful
intervention and conflict mastery. Learn to:
Ø Identify self-defeating styles of anger and violence-prone personalities
Ø Transform hostility and rage into assertion and passion
Ø Confront directly or disarm outrageously critics and (passive) aggressors
Ø Bust the guilt not burst a gut
Ø Prevent emails from becoming e-missiles
And finally, his years as a multimedia psychotherapist and as a Stress and
Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service yield a survival and
spiritual mantra at the heart of the "Four Faces of Anger":
Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor…May the Farce Be With You!
Published: 2004; Pages: 116 [Book size: 9"x12"]
Paperback: Price: $20 + $5.00 priority shipping in US; $7 for shipping in
Mexico and Canada; other international destinations to be determined
E-Book: $15

Mark Gorkin, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, is a psychotherapist and
"Motivational Humorist" whose Interactive Keynotes and Kickoffs draw wide and
"amazing" acclaim - from Fortune 100s and Federal Agencies to around the world
with Celebrity Cruise Lines. An OD/Team Building Consultant, Mark is the
author of Practice Safe Stress: Healing and Laughing in the Face of Stress,
Burnout & Depression and of The Four Faces of Anger: Transforming Anger, Rage,
and Conflict Into Inspiring Attitude and Behavior. Also, the Doc is AOL's
"Online Psychohumorist" ™ running his weekly "Shrink Rap ™ and Group Chat." See
his award winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com (cited as a
workplace resource by National Public Radio (NPR). Finally, Mark is an advisor
to The Bright Side ™ -- www.the-bright-side.org -- a multi-award winning mental
health resource. Email for his monthly newsletter showcased on List-a-Day.com.
For more info on the Doc's speaking and training programs and products, email
stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-946-0865.
(c) Mark Gorkin 2006
Shrink Rap Productions