The Paradox of Peak Performance
Any stressed out golfers amongst you? Well I know there's at least one. A reader emailed about getting so tense and worked up...He's a wreck on the first hole. Invariably, his score heads uphill while his enjoyment takes a dive. Now I'm not a golfer, but the reader's performance plight reminded me of previous work with an anxious trial attorney. My old client, who I'll call Bob, would get highly upset preparing for trial. Then, despite his legal experience and doing his pretrial work, when Bob was in the courtroom waiting to address the judge and jury, fear and pressure would boil up inside.
Bob would mentally steel himself for this legal war of nerves and verbal daggers. He was also trying to tightly suppress his emotional cauldron with an aggressive cover. Actually, Bob reminded me of a not so wily cartoon character running off a cliff. Bob's presentation remained fearless and focused - until he looked down. Panic-time! Now Bob was grasping for air. His voice would begin to quiver, his hands would start to tremble. Bob became more and more self-conscious holding up documents in the courtroom. Papers fluttering in his hands was the final indignity. Bob now felt he was waving the white flag.
Are You Secure Enough to Be Anxious?
In his mind, this internal tension was only a reflection of personal insecurity. Bob thought, "I'm such a wimp. If I were tougher I wouldn't get so anxious." Bob didn't understand that an optimal amount of internal pressure is a natural and necessary component for getting "psyched" for peak performance. The classic on-the court example is the former Boston Celtics basketball great, Bill Russell, star of Boston's championship teams in the '50s and '60s. Russell would get so psyched - and nauseated - before a game that he would have to throw up. Then the center would step into his "courtroom" and dismantle his opponent's offensive strategy with a brilliant defense. (In fact, if Bill didn't get sick, his teammates knew they were in for a long night.)
Getting back to Bob, I had to help him recognize anxiety as potential energy, and to generate an emotional flow. In other words, I told him, "If you're feeling scared, be scared. If you're feeling tight - gradually begin some deep breathing." The key is to circulate pent up energy; don't repress it away. I like doing aerobic exercise a couple of hours before a big speaking engagement. Helps me hit that flexibly focused state of relaxed attention. And then, 30 minutes before show time, be in quiet solitude with your state of arousal. Like red-white glowing charcoals, your inner fire will smolder and spread the energy and intensity throughout your mind-body. It's a formula for high octane emotion and performance. For Bob, sealing off his inner fire meant choking on burning desire.
Image Isn't Everything
Another mistake was believing that he "must" start boldly. The problem was he couldn't keep up this image. Bob was setting up a negative spiral instead of building productive momentum. Let the butterflies out slowly; don't try to make them fly in perfect formation right from the start. (And who would want butterflies to fly in tight formation anyway. I always start with a well rehearsed, light story or a short opening line just to get me out of the speaker's stress box.) Many people, like Bob, equate being vulnerable with being tentative and out of control. In Bob's case, having his father's perfectionistic and critical voice in his head, didn't make things any easier.
Actually, starting slowly and surely reflects an understanding of performance physiology. You are gradually building a foundation of confidence and finding your rhythmic flow. Remember, my "Performing with 'P's": if you've you've done the preparation, with practice and patience your presentation will progressively unfold. Start softly and build to a strong finish!
Progression and Regression
After a couple of sessions, Bob was beginning to make some progress. And, of course, as soon as he sensed this, he regressed to his old, impatient, perfectionistic mind-set. With a strained voice, Bob cried out, "If I can just master this stuff, I'll be successful." Once again, his consuming drive was about to choke his learning and growing path. (Remember, there's no path to absolute mastery, just an ongoing journey.) I slowed him down, reminded him that the goal was practicing and becoming comfortable with these new approaches and perspectives, not expecting overnight or superstar results.
With time, Bob was able to free himself of his most burdensome performance knots. By being himself, for worse and then better, Bob started harnessing his dynamic energy. And started having trials without tribulations!
Next time, I'll pull together "Stress Doc's Tips for High Performance." Until then, of course...Practice Safe Stress!
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Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader and author on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. The Stress Doc is a columnist for the popular cyber-newsletter, Humor From The Edge. Mark is also the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource network, Online Psych . His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com