The Evolution of a Psychohumorist
A Case of Regression in the Service of an Ego

How did I become a humorous stress expert? (Or is the more precise and concise question: how did I get so warped?) I can't say I was a natural born comedian. I don't recall any particularly funny or witty family members growing up (other than a cousin by marriage who would excitedly yell "hold on to your hat" as you drove through a tunnel). However, life's absurdities were abundant, and I may have been blessed with star potential. For example, on a post-hospital recuperation/vacation for my father in Florida, when I was 1 1/2 years old, the family encountered a rich couple at our motel. The couple were not able to have children. They thought I was the most precious thing, and offered to buy me from my folks for $75,000. And this was in 1949 dollars. (Hey, to this day, my stock has never been so valuable. And to my parents' credit, they resisted selling high. So this is where their high expectations for their first son came from. Of course, we won't speculate whether there has been any parental remorse regarding their missed sales opportunity. And imagine if this baby buying scenario had unfolded today. With cloning, I'd be a done deal.)

And speaking of oddities, throughout my childhood and early teen years, there was my main competitor for family attention and my unconscious model for social deviancy, "Uncle Rusty." Rusty was wiry, pretty hyper, mischievous, a perennial child at heart and spirit. He always had sports and drinking buddies; never had much responsibility. Our redheaded "black sheep" grazed and roamed in and out of the household depending on the crises in his life. (And let me assure you, no matter how much progress is made in the field of genetic engineering, they'll never be able to clone such a unique sheep.)

In the household, my mother's Sunday Times Crossword Puzzle precocity reigned -- definitely a double-edged sword. I'm sure I have some of her uncommon fluency; I also have remnants of her literary laser beams. When I was up late with homework or an overdue book report, I had a mother who would zap me with a quote from the ancient Roman poet Horace: "To begin is to be half done. Dare to know - start!" (And you wonder why I'm such an expert on stress, guilt and neurosis.)

Way Down Yonder

To protect both the innocent and "not so," I will simply refer to these early times as my "Jewish Tennessee Williams Family" period and move on. (Discretion is the better part of...safeguarding my inheritance.) Actually, it's an appropriate segue to my prolonged "creative exile" in New Orleans, during the '70s and '80s. These were my "American in Cajun Paris" years. Jazz Fest, Mardis Gras, crawfish etoufee, soft-shelled crab, oyster poboy...Yum. And those Creole women and Southern belles. New Orleans, itself, is a muse for the senses; siren, perhaps, is the better term. She invites you to explore your unconscious; the primal over the puritan, to plumb the depths of pain and passion, sensual enlightenment and laughter. I had definitely got off the Type A, New York track. The problem was my being in a serious doctoral program. Isn't reality sometimes a bummer.

I went down to Tulane University to work on a doctorate in Social Work. Got sidetracked in analysis; had a mystical-like experience, which I tried to turn into a dissertation topic. (I never claimed to be very practical.) My dissertation pursuit - a visual-spatial model of self-actualization - was definitely off the academic wall. Still, I wasn't going to let that trivial fact or those conservative voices of authority stifle this budding talent. Okay, perhaps I was going through academic adolescence, and my intellectual testosterone was raging out of control.

Alas, I could only bang my hard head for so long against that academic wall. I eventually knocked myself out of the doctoral program. It was a painful transition. Fortunately, there was a silver lining...I became an expert on stress and burnout. I discovered the truth of an aphorism by a psychiatrist whose name escapes me: "What was once feared and is now mastered is laughed at." And as I inverted: "What was once feared and is now laughed at is no longer a master." I now refer to those defiant days of "marching to a different drummer"..."when academic flashdancing whirled to a burnout tango!"

And next time, I'll share how this philandering phoenix rose from the academic ashes. Until then...Practice Safe Stress!

Special Announcement: I am starting a Multi-Media Coaching for Consultants Program, especially (though not exclusively) for allied health professionals, organizational trainers and consultants and educators. For information on the products and instructional services, including one-on-one online consultation and particpation in a chat/support group, email me at Stress Doc@aol.com

Feedback Segment: How about sharing your thoughts on how you, friends or colleagues use humor in dealing with stress, conflict or moods, yours or others, in your personal life, at home or at work? HFTE will run the best stories and, of course, credit you. (And the real lagniappe, you become a member of the Stress Doc's StressBusters Club.) Also, email me to learn more about "The Stress Doc's" upcoming serious and humorous on-line support/chat group -- "The Frequent Sighers Club.

Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader and author on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. He is also the internet's and the nation's leading "Psychohumorist." The Stress Doc is a columnist for the popular cyber-newsletter, Humor From The Edge -- HUMOR FROM THE EDGE HOME PAGE . Mark is also the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource network, Online Psych -- ONLINE PSYCH: THE STRESS DOC and Financial Services Journal Online --  . And he is an offline writer for two mental health/substance abuse publications -- Treatment Today and Paradigm Magazine. His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel: A Smart Mouth for Hire! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com. The  Stress Doc's website was selected as a USA Today Online "Hot Site" and designated a four-star, top- rated site by Mental Health Net.