Exposing the Phallic Paradox: Part I
Slaves of Sex, Masters of Power

Slaves of Sex, Masters of Power Exposing The Phallic Paradox Bulletin:

Due to the alleged presidential sex scandal, the Stress Doc will interrupt his scheduled column on burnout. Actually, I can't decide if I'm more burnt out on the lust of Clinton or the media's lust for Clinton. But there is one provocative issue I wish to address. It's an issue that was noted in a national poll and by my articulate, attractive, 30-40 something female, Washington, DC consultant neighbor:

"Most men behave the way Clinton does when it comes to women. Men just can't or won't control their sexual urges."

(95% of the men she's known fall in this category. Of course, living in politics-driven DC tends to expose you to inflated egos and to encourage inflated figures.)

Just one minute here. This kind of generalization deserves some scrutiny. I don't believe the male of the species is always and everywhere voracious in sexual matters. I do believe the intensity of the sex urge and of male predatory behavior interacts with various psychosocial and biochemical factors. I'll take both a serious and lascivious approach to this burning issue in this two-part column.

Power and Status.

The extremes along the power spectrum definitely contribute to this indiscriminate state of affairs, if not the affairs of state. Those bathed in power, money, and/or celebrity status invariably attract starry-eyed sycophants, gold-diggers, trophy wives and, of course, an array of sexual partners; those with their pedestal to the medal subtly or not so subtly often naturally expect, demand or bribe sexual favors.

At the other extreme, for some men, the driving force behind sexual assault is not a sexual urge, but an out of control, violent one. Driven by feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness, only the letter of the law stands between rage and rape.

Then there's the tragically obscene wartime rape of civilians. This mass marauding illustrates both extremes -- the breakdown of civility and morality as well as the glaring disparity of power between victor and victim.

Power Points and Struggles

Still dysfunction is more common than destruction. A win-lose mindset, accompanied by an anxious need for approval or reassurance, often goads a male's quest for ego enlargement and phallus prowess. (Aha! Perhaps one sees some parallel with the popularity of the "wonder bra" and the prevalence of breast augmentation.) Men have been "scoring" with women along with boasting about and inflating their conquests probably as long as they've been hunting for hides and scalps. Alas, I must admit my own chauvinism in this area. I'm always a bit humbled, if not momentarily deflated, when with a woman who, over the years, has had decidedly more sexual partners than myself. That male pride just never rests!

And pride may not stop in the face of rejection, either. As my female neighbor reminded me, "just say no" isn't simply an empty slogan in the battle over drug use. It often proves fairly useless in the sexual arena as well. For too many guys, receiving a "no" in the game of romance is an insult to that most precious and sensitive male organ...the swollen ego. And if not an insult, then a woman's clarion call - "no way, Jose" - is often heard as a challenge to the freedom and full extension of the ultimate tower of power..."the rejection erection." Guys, get with it. A tenacious phallus in the face of a rebuff is bad form; certainly not politically erect...Ooops, I mean correct. (Maybe "Slick Willie" also tripped over this one.)

The Climax

So while arguing against the notion that men automatically and in totality are Clinton clones (if not clowns), it's clear many men are contradictory, if not somewhat screwed up creatures - seemingly slaves to their sex urges and, simultaneously, power-driven predators. Next time, I want to raise two related issues in defense of the much maligned male - the biochemical imperative and the dynamics of sexual addiction. Until then, absolutely...Practice Safe Stress!

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Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader and author on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. He is also the internet's and the nation's leading "Psychohumorist." The Stress Doc is a columnist for the popular cyber-newsletter, Humor From The Edge -- HUMOR FROM THE EDGE HOME PAGE . Mark is also the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource network, Online Psych -- ONLINE PSYCH: THE STRESS DOC and Financial Services Journal Online --  . And he is an offline writer for two mental health/substance abuse publications -- Treatment Today and Paradigm Magazine. His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel: A Smart Mouth for Hire! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com. The  Stress Doc's website was selected as a USA Today Online "Hot Site" and designated a four-star, top- rated site by Mental Health Net.