The Invitation and The Questions

A colleague, mshomon@pop.dn.net, recently shared a poetic, no, a spiritual gift. Mary for such sublime generosity there's only one thing I can do: bring you into the fold. I hereby bestow official membership into the Stress Doc's StresssBusters Club.

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
(a Native American Elder)

 It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing

 It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

 It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!

 I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

 I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

 It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

 I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

 I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from God's presence.

 I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes"!

 It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

 It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

 It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

 I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

 Truly sublime. And now for the hard hitting, ironical version by yours truly.

 "Why's Up: 20 Questions"

 1. Why dredge up rage and shame? 2. Why feel and reveal, instead of conceal, psychic pain? 3. Why mourn, let go and work with the same? 4. Why confront your "Intimate FOE": Fear of Exposure? 5. Why tolerate living with uncertainty and vulnerability? 6. Why become less dependent on others' approval or standards? 7. Why be able to accept criticism without feeling so anxious, humiliated or rejected? 8. Why become more risk-taking; why learn the art of designing disorder? 9. Why not settle or adjust to the expected role or image? 10. Why strive high and seek failure? 11. Why challenge narrow-minded, superficial, conventional, self-righteous, or fearful thinking or posturing? 12. Why evolve a capacity for tenderness and aggression, logic and emotion, meditation and dynamic expression...why embrace ambiguity and contradiction? 13. Why make the complex simple, the simple complex? 14. Why waste time in irrational, silly fanciful or outrageous imagining, pondering or playing? 15. Why bother exploring, pursuing, shaping and fighting for a dream...with intensity and patience? 16. Why develop, relate and synthesize diverse experiences and emotions, knowledge and ideas, talent and skills? 17. Why raise these questions every day of your life? 18. Why share these questions every day of your life? 19. Why should life be absurd and you be outrageous? 20. Why...not?

 You might try reading the above questions in the round with a group of people. We did last night in a creativity workshop I was leading. It really hit home.

 The Invitation and The Questions take you to the edge. Just remember, be bold and Practice Safe Stress!

 Feedback Segment: How about sharing your thoughts on how you, friends or colleagues use humor in dealing with stress, conflict or moods, yours or others, in your personal life, at home or at work? HFTE will run the best stories and, of course, credit you. (And the real lagniappe, you become a member of the Stress Doc's StressBusters Club.) Also, email me to learn more about "The Stress Doc's" upcoming serious and humorous on-line support/chat group -- "The Frequent Sighers Club.

 Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader and author on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. The Stress Doc is a columnist for the popular cyber-newsletter, Humor From The Edge. Mark is also the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource network, Online Psych . His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com