When a reader asks the Stress Doc his opinion on turning a virtual imaginary cybersex partner into a real menage a trois, he turns to a a more knowledgeable source. And in her unique style, the Feisty Phoenix provides some thought-provoking (and provocative) commentary and documentary! This lady walks the talk.
When Two's Company and Three's a Ball
I misplaced or erased the reader letter, so I can't publish the original email. Suffice to say, it touched on whether a couple can safely transform a cybersex relationship between a couple and an imaginary friend into a dynamic, live affair. Can you go from virtual to an actual threesome? Okay Miss Feisty Phoenix, (LKW55A@aol.com) let your words soar forth:
I supect that you have a very sexy and willing imaginary friend yourself. But as you have already said, "It is just to good to be true!!!" Cyber Space is the breeding ground for Democratic Erotica and it just may be the only stage where optimum pleasure can be achieved without wrecking your American Dream...Your Family...!! If your fantasy is so consuming that it's wrecking your family anyway, then go for it..!! Seek your fondest secret pleasures...!! But I will tell you that there has yet to be a book written on how to create " The Functional Threesome"............
ADDING ONE TO THE TRADITIONAL TWO IN THE BEDROOM...EQUALS THREESOME
SOLVING BEDROOM BOREDOM
The free love era of the sexy sixties has been rebirthed and is thriving right at the grips of our fingertips.... With the invention of the chat room came the secret world of Cyber sex......!!
The anywhere, anytime and with anyone Cyber Sex has emerged as an addictive and pleasure seeking pastime for not thousands, but millions of on-line sexual fantasy addicts looking for new and more daring erotic adventures to pursue.
Clearly Cyber Sex has no boundaries, (at least this is my experience anyway) and every sexual fantasy you have ever had can be achieved with a standing ovation as the performance of a lifetime. (This is "The In Your Mind Only Theory")
So now that your Cyber Sex Fantasies have developed a will of their own, the question is, "How can you successfully intergrate your imaginary playmate into a real life sexual encounter with you and your spouse?"
Turning Lust to Trust
First of all having sexual fantasies is completely normal, after all we are just human beings and one of our most compelling attributes is our lustful thinking. (Am I projecting here, or am I the only one with lustful thinking. (Ed note: No, Jimmy Carter clearly established that we all potentially have lust in our hearts. In contrast, Bill Clinton is more evolved. He certainly has fulfilled his potential.)
Changing sexual roles or taking on different personalities while in the bedroom can be extremely exciting and freeing, it even can become the driving force for making positive changes. From an emotional standpoint, role playing may even enable sexual partners to build the sacred relationship foundation we all long to have: TRUST
ABSOLUTE TRUST ( if it does exist) is the essential compontent that must be securely in fact and completely operational before a curious couple can successfully explore the possibilities of introducing the human twin of their Imaginary Playmate into their conventional world (worn out routine) of LOVE MAKING ..This is the fantasy of fantasies for many couples in this Lesbain Flavored Decade. (Thanks Ellen)...The forbidden three jointed genetic venture politely known as The THREESOME.
Communication to Sexual Conversation..
Certainly, feelings will surface that have an angry tone and a jealous tinge, but this can be resolved through effective communication and a willingness to have sexual conversation. A committment must be made to honestly share with each other your sexual expectations from the temptress of the threesome, otherwise you can definitely expect to experience the tempest of jealous love........
Fabulous Female for Fantasy
Of course there are fabulous free spirited females (take me for instance) all over the place. It's whether or not they are willing to accept your invitation to the expedite the Titillating Threesome Fantasy, which has now become your total atmosphere consuming all logic and reason. (Please do not make any major decisions regarding work when you are spinning in this single minded focus).
A few suggestions for you that I hear have worked for others. First, try the local Lesbian Bar. (If your wife is pretty - lesbians can be so picky - and your not dressed in drag, you shouldn't have a problem finding a willing party, but most likely this female folly will not be sober...who cares..!!! )
Then of course, a most conventional and realiable source would be the personal adds in your local newspaper. Now if your a little anal retentive this would be the way to go. You could excerise your control and malipulation issues and convince the threesome hopeful to believe that you and your wife would be doing her the favor.....!! If she falls for the lure of a favor, then she's most defintiely the one....Go for it..!!
And if being audacious is your style you might want to consider some of these suggestions...... Your neighbor's wife, the flight attendent from your last business trip (providing you didn't throw her # away), the fitness instructor from your gym or when desperate, there's always the venue from the local Nude Revue. (You can expect anything but shyness if you make this choice, although there might be a small consulting fee!!!)
The Final Approach
The only approach I know that works is the one that worked on Me..!! (Mom, I swear I only tried it once). You see, several swinging years ago, I had become the Imaginary Intent of a very prominent couple. The Husband (Mr. Former Mayor) had been in my parents' social circle for many years, so I knew the handsome devil. (Shamefully so.!) But I did not know his new wife, the one he snatched from a cradle as he walked out of the courthouse after finalizing his divorce from his first wife of 30yrs. (Plastic surgery just couldn't save the marriage)
It was a Saturday, I had just finished a muscle buffing workout at the gym and was heading to a very cruisy coffee shop to meet a friend to do what we do best - cruise the possibilities!! (Some people would tell you, I was close to naked, but I would tell you I had workout garb on.)
As I stood in line, I felt two hands planting firmly on the curves of my chiesled backside and then felt a wet whisper in my ear. " Priscilla, I want you " and with a slight pause, long enough for me to turn around, he finished, "To meet my new wife." What I remember is that my heart was beating as fast as the spin cycle in a washing machine.....There was profound intent in his chosen method (very direct) for the introduction of his new younger than me wife.........The message I heard was: "Priscilla I want you .......to please my wife." How could I refuse? How !!!
The arrangement was in progress. That day the new wife asked me to have lunch with her the following week, we did. I was nervous, it was fun. Later in the week we planned to workout together and have a massage, we did. I was real nervous, it was real fun. Simultaneously we agreed a passionate work of lust had been created and we were the players. We set the date.
On the night of the clandestine meeting I dressed in a pair of black leather chaps, (nothing underneath), a sterling sliver studded black leather bra, grabbed my riding crop and a leather napsack full of toys and waited patiently for Mr. Former Mayor's driver to pick me up. I couldn't believe I was actually going through with this, I mean I was a Debutante for God Sakes. I grew up with a pair of Penny Loafer's on, sporting the sweet innocence of monogrammed Brooks Brother's apparel for every occasion. And what if my painstaking, socially perfect Mother found out?This would send her to the dirt plot before her due date..!!
I just stood in the mirror and I thought to myself..."Oh my God....What am I doing?! This outfit..!! God, I look Hot..!! I look so very Hot " (A little ego trip to save the day. So with sexy confidence and a lustful arrogance, I assured myself that this romantic rendezvous was exactly what my sexual portfolio needed to be complete.!!))
I did it...The insanity of it all produced a wild erotic tag team sexual event that was better than first kiss I ever had.....(Okay, whats the issue here..??) Was your first kiss Good..??
The real benefit for me was that I now had captured the total awe of my not so adventurous friends. I had the enigma of a Threesome under my belt (really my bed) Why I do believe I am still bragging about this one night rage. (Leo's are known for their majestic boasting skills..Leo here.)
So my friends, if your looking for a absolutely sultry night wired by sensational sexual insanity to solve The Boring Bedroom Blues, then most certainly you owe it to yourself and your spouse to indulge in the increasingly, ever so popular sexual encounter of the 90's......The Threesome..
But just remember there is a price tag for everything. Are you willing to play jeopardy with the strong, secure, and solid foundation of your marriage? Maybe...Maybe not....Best advice.....Talk to a marriage counselor....!!!
Until We Meet... The Fabulous Fiesty Phoenix.....!!!!
And, of course, especially if making the transformation from cyberotica to real erotica...Practice Safe Stress!
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