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Have a Good Holiday, those who are celebrating ;-)

In the first of a two-parter, the Stress Doc takes a poignantly playful look at the heartfelt tremors that can shake up a soul; the whispering words telling you it's high time to break up a life's puzzle. Is he speaking to you or for you?

Unfreezing the Kaleidoscopic Path: Part I

How do you know when it's time to break up the puzzle pieces of your life, particularly when there is no compelling demand (job promotion/relocation) or external crisis (an increasingly dysfunctional relationship). This means there is no post-traumatic aftermath from which the refugee's forced migration is the only recourse. Still, some bits of anxiety keep churning inside.

Staying with the pieces metaphor, it's as if one's life is a kaleidoscope - work, family, friends, hobbies, landscapes, etc., typically provide a source of variation and stimulation. But now, despite continuously turning the cylinder, the kaleidoscopic pieces are frozen in place. You see a fairly pretty pattern, but it's become all too familiar. And you've seen this picture before.

The Puzzle Breaking Process/Path

In the '80s, a career path vision emerged after burning out as a doctoral student at Tulane University School of Social Work. Choosing to continue my creative exile in New Orleans, "The (Not So) Big Easy," I awkwardly projected my therapy and teaching roles and hard-earned expertise in stress and burnout into a variety of new settings, such as corporations, at conferences and on radio and TV. And uneven progress was made despite the steep and uncertain career path. Still, the peak of one mountain range may seem but a plateau from higher ground. Even worse, is hearing the whispers in the psychic wind, as I did in the last year of my prolonged creative exile way down yonder: "There are no more mountains to climb in the bayou!" And I blew out of town.

My Washington, DC decade of the '90s helped bring life and some structure to an ambiguous career vision. In DC, weaving these varied communication- intervention roles with increased opportunity for speaking, training and consulting definitely produced a multimedia social work job tapestry. And in the last eighteen months, the following has evolved: my stepping into the virtual looking glass, writing for a variety of internet forums and zines, co- collaborating on an award-winning "Stress Doc" website (www.stressdoc.com), becoming the self-proclaimed "Virtual Dear Abby of AOL," and leading a weekly online AOL/Digital City stress support group - "Shrink Rap and Group Chat." Well, an Online Psychohumorist ™ is born.

The irony is this: just as Stress Doc Enterprises is taking real and virtual shape I sense that the Bjorn Bored Syndrome (BBS) looms in the not too distant future. Bjorn Borg, the Swedish tennis star, after a dramatic five-year reign on the circuit, burned out rather suddenly. With novelty gone and endless practice becoming repetitiously numbing, there's BBS: When Mastery times Monotony provides an index of Misery!

Wait…maybe there's hope. Perhaps it's not solely the enterprise that needs rejuvenation but the location. Maybe a bridge between old and new mindscapes and horizons will yield a life-career promised land. But before dashing off into the sunset, let's do a little reflection and analysis. What are some signs of inertia and ennui that you might look for in your daily operations? My reasons for restlessness and puzzlement likely range from the compulsive to the creative. Let me count three ways:

1. Are You an Adrenaline Addict? Guilty as charged! Hey, I'm originally from New York City. Of course I breathe, if not thrive upon, stress and adrenaline. (So it's part of my history. And you can get habituated to high adrenaline levels.) Actually, sixteen years in "The Big Easy" mellowed me some. But basically, I'm a Type A personality, a somewhat impatient, intense risk-taker with a propensity for novelty, complexity and, if not careful, grandiosity. (More in social-work-speaking-writing situations than, for example, in sky diving out of an airplane.) When things get too calm or predictable, boredom hovers. And I sense a routine in the making that needs some shaking.

2. The Depression Dimension. I recall reading how risk-taking personalities are often motivated by their reduced levels of biochemical or physiological arousal. To achieve hormonal equilibrium they often seek out challenging environments or engage in thrill-seeking behavior. Specifically, the study focused on men prone to gambling behavior. It also speculated how underlying and unrecognized depression, that is biochemical and arousal dysfunction, may be influencing the need for added stimulation and subsequent on the edge behavior. Ah well, personally, the conceptual shoe fits again.

3. Is It Fifty or Fantasy? Another ingrained factor, besides cultural and biochemical predilection, is age in the context of the life cycle. For me, fifty feels both fabulous and perilous. The glass is half full when reflecting upon my evolution and integration of emotions and talents, experience and skills. In my various workings, most of the time, I'm hitting on all cylinders. But once again, there's a need for a bigger stage and a new mountain range. First, I want a better balance between bureaucratic beasts and free wheeling, cutthroat private sector clients. (Hey, I told you, I'm a New Yorker that needs the adrenaline rush.) Then, staying with my wish list, let's increase the proportion of speaking programs to consulting and training contracts. And a final fantasy, though only Santa or the liberation of some genie at times seems likely to make this happen -- a book publishing contract. Are my courage, endurance and strengths worthy of the fiery fantasies of fifty?

I recall my first social work therapist, a Chinese woman, sharing some Buddhist wisdom: as one evolves and matures the goal is to have wider and wider spheres of influence, to touch with compassion ever greater numbers of people. And I do feel fortunate having this opportunity through cyberspace. Still, there's the alluring call, the siren song of the live stage. And then there's that seductive four letter F-word: FAME!

And, finally, the half empty part of the glass, actually, it's an hour glass, reveals that the sands of time are running down. There's the pressure to make my mark - to transform vision and virtuality into ever expanding and continuously challenging reality. Three more puzzle breaking indicators and strategies next time. Until then…Practice Safe StressI

Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc," Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a nationally recognized speaker, workshop leader and author on stress, reorganizational change, anger, team building, creativity and humor. He is also the internet's and the nation's leading "Psychohumorist." The Stress Doc is a columnist for the popular cyber-newsletter, Humor From The Edge -- HUMOR FROM THE EDGE HOME PAGE . Mark is also the "Online Psychohumorist" for the major AOL mental health resource network, Online Psych -- ONLINE PSYCH: THE STRESS DOC and Financial Services Journal Online. And he is an offline writer for two mental health/substance abuse publications -- Treatment Today and Paradigm Magazine. His motto: Have Stress? Will Travel: A Smart Mouth for Hire! Reach "The Doc" at (202) 232-8662, email: Stress Doc@aol.com, or check out his "Hot Site" website: http://www.stressdoc.com or click STRESS DOC HOMEPAGE. (The site was selected as a USA Today Online "Hot Site" and designated a four-star, top- rated site by Mental Health Net.)

** For his free newsletter, Notes from the Online Psychohumorist (TM) or for info on the Stress Doc's Online Coaching program, email stressdoc@aol.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~